OK, not quite, but almost?

Here in Abu Dhabi there are two salons (day spa and medi-spa) that I go to on a regular basis. Well, more than regular. Probably far more than any woman needs to be going. Both are very high end, professional, and most importantly... clean! Unlike Kuwait, I can get every service done in one salon and not have to be concerned about sanitation or skill. Nail polish brushes AND bottles are cleaned and sanitized after use on each person. Nice.

This weekend I had appointments at both. Maybe it was a bad week or something? No idea.

My first appointment was at the medi-spa, and in the evening. I always do these at night, and on Thursdays. I generally get procedures done which result in slight pain, mild bruising, and some swelling. I need the weekend to fully recover. This visit was for 'face firming' which consists of electrodes being attached to the face and neck and micro-currents being sent to the muscles resulting in a 'firming' effect. Now, does this really work? Eh, who knows? Is there scientific evidence to support it? Doubtful. I venture to say it's more like scaring the hell out of the facial muscles causing them to tense up out of shock. Similar to the reaction our body has the moment before impact in a car accident. The second procedure was a laser resurfacing of the face. They literally use a laser and burn off the top layer of skin, promoting cell growth and 'new skin'. Prior to doing this a numbing agent is applied to the face to prevent any real pain. Though as the Doctor comes in the room and prepares to start he says, "Remember, beauty is painful. Pain is gain." Umm, dude, trying to tell me something?! It wasn't bad at all, though the smell of burning flesh was quite repulsive. Can I tell a difference? Yeah, I think so. But more than anything I think it's all psychological. We spend insane amounts of money on having our skin burned off, we're going to convince ourselves we see a difference. I should hire someone to come pour water on my face every week and charge me a trillion dollars -- I would see a difference.

The following day I had an appointment at the more day spa like salon. This is where massages, manis, pedis, facials, and hair can all be accomplished under one roof. And it's approximately a 3 minute drive from my home. Me living next door to the best salon in Abu Dhabi could result in homelessness. My appointment was quite simple... trimming the ends off of my hair. "Less than a quarter inch" was the request. My stylist is generally pretty good about sticking with what I tell her. I have verrrrry long hair, and take verrrry good care of it. Healthy hair is imperative. The long frizzy look should be punishable by a court of law. The only problem I really have with my stylist is her desire to stand with her hand on my hair (as if this means she's working?!?) while she talks endlessly about her Lebanese boyfriend. OK, I get it. The Leb men are charming, they say all the right things, and perhaps even some mean it. So she's lost in his charm. Fine. Can she do that when her hands aren't on my head?! Trimming my hair is really a 10-15 minute process, maximum! Which it was yesterday as well -- though I sat in the chair at least 40 minutes. Do I pay her to tell me all about her man and their life and how he takes such good care of her? NO! Am I interested? Well, not really. Especially when I'm there for a 10 minute service. I plan my day around these appointments and get really frustrated watching time pass knowing she's now into MY time. Save that chit chat for a day I'm getting a lengthy service done. Well, she finally tells me she's quitting this salon because she doesn't like the owners, then proceeds to say really negative things about them, how they treat their staff, etc. Oh my, can we say 'unprofessional'?! Needless to say, I will not be following her to her new place of employment for a number of reasons. Though I do somewhat dread a new stylist. 

Oh how I love the salon. 

When I think back over my life and all the people I've encountered, I realize how honored I was to know most of them. Many I am still in touch with... some not. There are many levels to maintaining friendships, relationships, etc. Both parties must share a mutual respect and genuine concern for the other's well being. These people are unique, and oh so special. Unfortunately, some things are just out of the control of both parties involved. There are outside issues which impede the bond. Perhaps they only live in the mind of one -- or not. There are times when reality becomes fantasy, and fantasy the reality. Words must have meaning... or at least be present.

This song has always reminded me of those situations.

Time Magazine is a very respected and reputable magazine in America. The topics are generally chosen carefully, but are sometimes 'cutting edge', and ground-breaking. Of course there are questions as to motivation behind some stories every now and then -- but this could be said for almost any media outlet. If there's a specific interest in a topic, the facts can sometimes be distorted, or left out.

Time Magazine has always been known to capture the reader with their cover photo. This week being no exception. I truly had to sit here and debate whether or not I would post the picture. Not due to concern of what people would think when they saw it... since, well, ummm, it's on the cover of Time. Obviously it's going to be seen. But because I had to question what I was promoting and condoning on a personal level. The photo is shocking.

I still struggle with the fact this is being released just days after the confidential documents regarding the war in Afghanistan made their way to WikiLeaks. Is this just an attempt at diverting attention from our bad behavior, to theirs? Bad is bad. Wrong is wrong. Pointing out the flaws of another doesn't make our own disappear. I love my country, but we're very good at making huge mistakes, and then swaying public opinion by thrusting into the spotlight someone else's huge mistakes -- normally the 'opposing team'. Justification via fabrication?

I haven't read the article about the young woman on the cover yet, but I did read the article as to why they chose to use this photo... considering the controversy.

Article and photo below:

Our cover image this week is powerful, shocking and disturbing. It is a portrait of Aisha, a shy 18-year-old Afghan woman who was sentenced by a Taliban commander to have her nose and ears cut off for fleeing her abusive in-laws. Aisha posed for the picture and says she wants the world to see the effect a Taliban resurgence would have on the women of Afghanistan, many of whom have flourished in the past few years. Her picture is accompanied by a powerful story by our own Aryn Baker on how Afghan women have embraced the freedoms that have come from the defeat of the Taliban — and how they fear a Taliban revival.

I thought long and hard about whether to put this image on the cover of TIME. First, I wanted to make sure of Aisha's safety and that she understood what it would mean to be on the cover. She knows that she will become a symbol of the price Afghan women have had to pay for the repressive ideology of the Taliban. We also confirmed that she is in a secret location protected by armed guards and sponsored by the NGO Women for Afghan Women. Aisha will head to the U.S. for reconstructive surgery sponsored by the Grossman Burn Foundation, a humanitarian organization in California. We are supporting that effort.

I'm acutely aware that this image will be seen by children, who will undoubtedly find it distressing. We have consulted with a number of child psychologists about its potential impact. Some think children are so used to seeing violence in the media that the image will have little effect, but others believe that children will find it very scary and distressing — that they will see it, as Dr. Michael Rich, director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Children's Hospital Boston, said, as "a symbol of bad things that can happen to people." I showed it to my two young sons, 9 and 12, who both immediately felt sorry for Aisha and asked why anyone would have done such harm to her. I apologize to readers who find the image too strong, and I invite you to comment on the image's impact.

(Below is the paragraph which throws into question their motivations)

But bad things do happen to people, and it is part of our job to confront and explain them. In the end, I felt that the image is a window into the reality of what is happening — and what can happen — in a war that affects and involves all of us. I would rather confront readers with the Taliban's treatment of women than ignore it. I would rather people know that reality as they make up their minds about what the U.S. and its allies should do in Afghanistan.

The much publicized release of classified documents by WikiLeaks has already ratcheted up the debate about the war. Our story and the haunting cover image by the distinguished South African photographer Jodi Bieber are meant to contribute to that debate. We do not run this story or show this image either in support of the U.S. war effort or in opposition to it. We do it to illuminate what is actually happening on the ground. As lawmakers and citizens begin to sort through the information about the war and make up their minds, our job is to provide context and perspective on one of the most difficult foreign policy issues of our time. What you see in these pictures and our story is something that you cannot find in those 91,000 documents: a combination of emotional truth and insight into the way life is lived in that difficult land and the consequences of the important decisions that lie ahead.

Anyone who travels often -- or at all -- knows how miserable flights can actually be. Especially the 14 hour non-stop international ones. Domestics throughout America, or the short GCC flights are tolerable because you remind yourself 'just a few more minutes of this hell' every other moment.

My absolute favorite airline for international travel is Etihad. It was Emirates until I experienced the beds Etihad offers. Though, I admit, the massage seats on Emirates are verrrry nice. Gulf carriers are much nicer than US carriers -- the level of luxury is much higher.

OK, other than Kuwait Airways (sorry, people). I've flown Kuwait Airways from Kuwait to Paris (CDG least favorite airport of all time!) round trip... ONCE! It was a last minute flight, Business Class was booked (I'm a pauper, First Class isn't in my vocabulary), and I was stuck in economy. But, fortunate enough to have all 3 seats to myself. Ahhh, comfort. Immediately put on the 'Life is Good' socks, get all comfy, and sleeeeeep! Less than an hour later there was a toddler sitting with me!!!! Crying, kicking me, and screaming. WTF?! A Kuwaiti man came to attend to the child -- by proceeding to sit next to me!! He looked at me and said, "My wife needs rest". Whaaaaaaaat?! Umm, dude, I didn't give birth to your kid, SHE did! SHE was now laid out on 3 seats (the ones they purchased). How does he know I didn't purchase 3 seats?! The return flight was no better, though I was in Business Class. Somehow I was the designated 'babysitter' for every woman who had ZERO interest in keeping their unruly children in a SEAT! Do I look like the maid!?! I have no problem with kids... love them even. But parents have a responsibility to ensure their children are tended to -- without inconveniencing others!

Don't evennnnn get me started on SriLankan Air or Alitalia! Cardboard boxes wrapped in duct tape are NOT considered 'carry on'. And how on earth does the entire crew take a NAP on a 5 hour flight to Italy?! I asked for water -- sooo easy! WATER!! Not a gourmet meal! 30 minutes later when I walked to the back to get it myself I was told to 'go back to my seat' they were all 'on a break' and 'taking naps'. I'll SWIM to Italy before EVER flying them again.

Airline seating is definitely long overdue for revamping. Especially now that our lives are far more 'international' (man of mystery?) than many years ago. Just don't mess with Etihad -- they need zero revamping! Several years ago American carriers 'revamped' their seating... by moving them 3 inches closer to one another! Greaaat job! NOT!

The photos below are merely a concept, but interesting. Not sure I would be keen on steps leading to my seat. I would be the genius who forgot she was sitting 'up there' and roll down the stairs in an attempt to make it to the restroom resulting in bodily injury. Hope Ailitalia doesn't go to this seating -- there will be injured people in the aisles as the crew naps.

And you Arabs think you have it bad when you fly?! I've been deemed the babysitter, the maid, and the reject -- and I'm just a plain ol' white girl!

Every day, along with online newspapers, I read specific blogs. I love the perspective and honesty of others. Though I'm American, most of the blogs I read are of those people living in, or being tied to Kuwait in some way or another.

There are two women in particular who are really my absolute favorites. I look forward to their posts, they always make me laugh, and I relate with pretty much everything they discuss. Like me, they have their complaints about Kuwait, but it's not the sole purpose of their blogging. I've communicated with both of these women via email but have never had the opportunity to meet them, though would love to! Coffee, ladies?!

The first one is The 'Other' AmericanGirlinKuwait. She started her blog years after I did, yet she too is 'American Girl in Kuwait' (blogspot). Sometimes I read her blog and wonder if I've written it. Rarely does she write something I don't 'get', and find myself often thinking, "Yep! I know exactlyyyyy what you mean!" She doesn't post as often as I would like for her to... ahem! Hint, hint! But when she does I love reading.



The next of my favorite female bloggers in Kuwait is Snow in Q8. Her husband is Kuwaiti and they have children together. She seems to have the perfect balance of East meets West in her home, and shares so many of her own experiences through her blog. Though Kuwait is now her home, she hasn't lost sight of her Western personality, and she expresses herself beautifully through her writing. She even tolerates my emails venting about silly things... thank you!



Both of these women are realistic which makes reading their blogs even more entertaining. Fact is far more interesting than fiction. They're both down to earth, with great attitudes. They also 'get' that a Kuwaiti man following you down the road doesn't mean you're a supermodel -- it just means you're a woman.

There are male blogs I read as well. However, I find most of them venture off into the world of technology and I seem to get lost there -- easily. Men aren't as expressive as women, so it's not often a topic is covered without photos to tell the story. Men are far more visual than women so it's only natural photos are used as a communication tool. I do admit, there's one male blogger who has captivated my attention. He shall remain anonymous. He is the same offline as he is online though he would argue this. Perhaps because he's not holding up photos to express himself in person? All these years I've remained semi-anonymous and he's managed to penetrate my little bubble of a life (minds out of the gutter please). Not really sure how often he reads my blog, or if he still considers me sane afterwards... but, I do hope he doesn't sit over there mentally correcting my grammar, or preparing my next lesson in 'the' v. 'the' (tha).

Every year the Wizard of Oz is shown on TCM. Not sure if it's the same date and time every year, but it's definitely a tradition. It's on right now. Yes, here in Abu Dhabi -- and it's on here every year as well. Did you peeps even know The Wizard of Oz as children?

I recall when I was a little girl watching it every year was like our family tradition... long before TCM. I have no memory of ever seeing it in a theater, and have no idea if it was even made for theater or was simply made for television?

At the time we lived in Asheville, NC. and there was a theme park there called "The Land of Oz". It was open for 10 years and then closed, and now only opens once a year. My parents took me there when I was maybe 4? 5? Disclosing the years it was open only discloses my age... I'll pass. I've tried to find photos, but they're few and far between. And if we have any they're in the states and unaccessible to me. The few I could locate (which sparked memories) on Google are posted below.






Because it's been, well, many years since I was a mere child, my memories are vague. However, I do recall everything literally felt black and white when you entered the park. Perhaps just very dull and lacking in color? Then you would enter Dorothy's farm house, walk around a bit, view some memorabilia, and then... tornado. I remember, though I have never personally experienced a tornado, it felt very real. The house shook, it felt as though we were spinning, and I held tightly to my 'mommy's' leg. Once the 'tornado' was over, we would exit the house... it felt like the same door, but obviously not. And there it was... the yellow brick road. The witches feet under the house. The munchkins singing to us, and guiding us as a group down the yellow brick road. Along the way we would meet the scarecrow, tin man, and lion. I recall very little about that part. I do remember at the end we went up in a hot air balloon which was really attached to a wire. But we could see the mountains of NC for miles. As a child there's no way I could have appreciated the beauty.

Now, as I sit here watching The Wizard of Oz, I'm skeeeered!!! What's up with THAT?! Was this not just the most fundamentally wrong movie ever? Am I so jaded I no longer see the innocence? Is it so wrong I had a childhood 'crush' on the Wizard -- the invisible man who held all the power and brilliance others longed to be in the presence of?

What if I
Don't have time to cry
Cry about you baby
What if I
Don't have the heart or the mind
To let go of you & save me

Well baby I'll be deemed crazy
Crazy lady
(Maybe I'm crazy)
And I'm in love with someone that don't exist
But maybe God will come down
And take me
(Just take me)
To a higher place
To a happiness
My bliss

Why can't you just look me in the eye
And say you'll never want me
Tell me I'm just a waste of time
I'm ugly & I'm, I'm useless
How can you expect me not to cry
Let me out of love with you
Tell me I never touched your heart
Never made you laugh
Please just tell me something baby
Tell me something

Tell me why
Why you loved to make me smile
When you're just gonna leave me craving
Tell me baby
Tell me why
Are you proud to me my man
You only lie when you're ashamed baby
Are you ashamed?

Maybe I'll be deemed crazy lady
(Baby I'm crazy)
And I'm in love with someone that don't exist
But maybe God will come down and take me
(Just take me)
To a higher place
To a happiness
My bliss

Why can't you just look me in the eye
And say you'll never want me
Tell me I'm just a waste of time
I'm ugly & I'm, I'm useless
How can you expect me not to cry
Let me out of love with you
Tell me I never touched your heart
Never made you laugh
Please just tell me something baby
Make something up
Why can't you look me in the eye

Many years ago... innocent... silly.... unaware. I often wonder how the child I was would view the adult I've grown to be. If only I could view the world through the eyes of a child again. Everything was clean, and pure. The closest I ever got to that was many years ago -- the beginning. Unfortunately, though my heart is still that of a child, my eyes are mature, wise, and far from blind. How very pernicious on many levels. Ahhhh, memories.

My Sunday morning (first day of the work week) generally starts off incredibly busy with well over 100 emails (at least half which require action -- the other half only a reply), catching up with my staff about anything taking place I'm not aware of, and several business meetings. I don't mind the busy Sunday mornings (unless I don't sleep the night before), because I do enjoy starting off the week feeling productive. I prefer any issues we may be facing during the week to come to light the moment I step foot in the office Sunday morning so they can either be immediately rectified, or I have a week to find solutions. I try very hard to avoid working from home, and generally do force myself to be off on weekends. Sometimes it works out well -- other times I find myself stressing and checking work emails from my phone while at the salon during a massage. So not cool.



Though I don't mind business meetings, and sometimes prefer them to conference calls, email traffic, etc., I do despise the 'verbal CV'. We're all in the same meeting, attempting to reach the same goals, and sharing ideas on how to get there. Surely we're all qualified, otherwise we wouldn't be attending... correct? So why is it some people opt to spew the details of their CV in the midst of a meeting, or prior to expressing a thought? Would it be so terribly rude to say, "Uh, yeah, love the PhD in arrogance, now, is it possible for you to complete a sentence without shoving it down our throats?" Not to mention, there are many times I prefer input from lower level staff, the actual worker bees, since they're the ones handling these issues on a personal level daily. These are the people who perhaps have the best ideas, and best solutions. And chances of them verbally reciting their CV is quite slim.
 


Then you have people on the opposite end of this. The very humble people who rarely discuss anything about themselves or their amazing accomplishments. These are the people who slowly expose pieces of their lives hoping to make the feeling of inferiority less painful for those on the receiving end (me). OK, obviously this isn't their intention at all, it's my being in awe of them that brings this up. Why is it I never have business meetings with these geniuses? How refreshing! People with a high level of intelligence, an amazing thought process, and the ability to express themselves without feeling the need to discuss their accomplishments. Place and time? Y

Not sure why this has only recently made news, or become a topic of conversation. This has been going on for years in many parts of Europe. I believe the Netherlands imposed a similar ban a couple of years ago -- though their reasoning was much better than France's excuse of 'it doesn't fit in with the way of life for women and women's rights in France.' Poor, poor argument. Other countries have used keywords such as 'disguises for criminals' in their debate -- I can buy that.

The Human Rights Watch, and a number of other Western organizations, often step in attempting to 'protect' the rights of Muslim women. Implying the Muslim men are failing... abusive, etc. And we (Westerners) wonder why we're not the most loved people by the Islamic community? Yes, abuse does take place in Muslim marriages -- shocking? Oh wait... it happens just as often, if not more so, in marriages of other religions as well. However, when the 'abused wife' stories are all over every media outlet, religion isn't mentioned -- unless they're Muslim of course. Then it's the first little tid-bit of information shared. Perhaps more funding should go towards the understanding of a Muslim marriage and Islam than the 'protection' of Muslim women who more than likely have nothing to be protected from. I've often seen women protesting for their right to wear niqab, burqa, etc. Yet I've never seen them protesting against it. Believe me, it's not because their husband is waiting inside the home with a gun.

The following is totally opinion based, as I rarely discuss religion here -- and I am far from a scholar on the topic. However, I will say, there is nothing in Islam that dictates precisely what a woman should wear by definition. There are guidelines and indications... that's it. Please do not contact me with your interpretations, telling me I am 'stupid', etc. So not interested.

Now, often religion and culture are mistaken for one another. And people will impose certain acts, attributing them to religion, when in fact they're culture. For instance, I know many men in Kuwait who 'got a wife' (like a new car?) and never saw her or spoke a word to her until after the wedding. This is culture -- not Islam. They will argue this.

Additionally, the covering of one's self and to what extent is really the woman's choice. It's her comfort level, and supposed to be totally up to her -- again, within guidelines. This is why it's not rare to see a woman dressed as though she's going to the club yet wearing hijab. I'll reserve my opinions on this for a day when I haven't slept and seem to complain about everyone around me.

Husbands are more than welcome to express their desires to their wives, and if she's comfortable with his wishes, she abides by the request. If he's a good man, he's not doing this out of some sick twisted desire to wrap her up like a prisoner and make her invisible and voiceless to the rest of the world. And if she's respectful and obedient (ooooh, that word!) she has no problem doing what makes her husband comfortable. Where's the problem in this? He's not asking her to disrespect herself -- just the opposite actually. And in many cases, the husband doesn't even make the request for specific attire, considering the wife is probably already respecting what they share in their marriage (her body), and not exposing it to others.

That being said -- why do people automatically assume a woman who covers herself is being forced to do so by a man? Why does no one say this about Nuns in America who proudly wear their 'habit'? Is it because they don't have a husband so their choice of attire must be that of their own? What leads people to assume Muslim men are these controlling, manipulating, abusive creatures? Isn't it the rest of the world who makes the covered Muslim woman voiceless by standing up for her 'rights' and imposing laws restricting her attire?

Here is where I venture off into my thoughts on men and women, our 'place' and 'duties' as a woman -- most of you should stop reading here. Seriously, you're going to be offended.

I do not see men and women as equals (ahhh, she said it!). This does not mean in the workplace, our level of intelligence, or our ability to live without a man to hold our hands and walk us through life. But, when it comes to our thought process, we're very different. I've gone into details here before, so I'll just touch on it briefly. Women are very emotional, and logical thoughts don't come as naturally -- this is a GOOD thing. Men, on the other hand, are far more rational, and much less emotional. This too is a good thing.

So when it comes to the intertwining of a man and woman, and the dynamics of a relationship between them, there are levels of satisfaction and gratification they provide one another without disrespect. They embrace their differences and together create an environment of pleasure. She knows him, understands him, and selflessly meets all of his needs -- putting them above her own. In turn, he provides for her, respects her, and always appreciates her efforts to ensure his life is one of comfort. She is worn like a crown on his head -- this makes for a very happy, satisfied woman.

For those of you women who question this... I ask; If your 'man' one day mentioned he would love to see your hair a different color, or a certain outfit on you -- would you hesitate? If so, why? Is he asking this to hurt or disrespect you? If so, you've made a poor choice in a man. But, chances are, he's asking because it's a simple silly desire he might be having for a moment. So in most cases, the woman will appease him. She'll change the hair and wear the outfit. It makes him happy, it doesn't hurt her, and in the end she's met his needs, and he's pleased. They're both happy.

This doesn't translate to controlling, abusive, or manipulating. So, when a Muslim man makes similar requests, why he is labeled as such?

Oh the hypocrisy! I have a salon appointment -- any hair color requests?

... I slept!!! Ahhhhh, new woman! I suddenly have a new found love for the world around me, and my eyes can actually see it without closing! There's nothing more unhealthy than a lack of sleep, and 2 hours a night for several days in a row just doesn't do it for me. I could seriously write for the next 15 minutes about how incredible I feel after approximately 11 hours sleep, and considering I type about 85 wpm, that's a LOT of writing! I'm not a math person, someone else can figure it out.

By the way, Andy? No, that's not a picture of my bedroom below. It's a stock photo of my bedding though, I'm a believer in quality bedding and for about 6 years, Croscill has been the only bedding sets I'll purchase. I change the decor either every year, every season, or with every move to another country. The stock photo below is what I'm currently using -- pillows included. However, the bedroom in the picture is gorgeous, tastefully decorated, and great advertising in my opinion. If I didn't already own it -- I would buy it. In Kuwait I had a bed custom made (mahogany wood, burgundy leather) and my bedding at the time was Croscill 'Opulence' (hues of burgundy, gold, and brown) which matched perfectly. They now share a huge storage space with a number of other items I purchased in Kuwait which I never bothered to make room for in my state side home. Perhaps one day when I have a clue about where I'm going to finally settle down, and live for an extended period of time, I'll be able to get all of my belongings on one side of the world. Oh how I long for that day. Kuwait, anyone?

Side-note: I won't often use my photos from my personal collection here unless it's imperative to convey the message. Not to mention, are you aware of how many people would recognize my bedroom?! Men from all over Kuwait and UAE would know I'm AGiK!! My anonymity would be over! I would be exposed! Um, NOT!

Now, for the Lebanese guy who finds me so 'lustful' -- you just want my bedding, huh? Admit it. I'm flattered you sense my oozing of sensuality in my nonsensical posts about absolutely nothing. Perhaps that's the Lebanese in you? Or the Lebanese in me? Oh wait... I'm not Lebanese. Oh my.

Call me shallow, call me spoiled, call me completely and totally rotten... but I've run out of lotion!! It's a very specific lotion, only available at Al-Shaya Perfumes. Of course this store has several locations in Kuwait, and I frequented them often while living there. Hence the lotion addiction. We also have 3 locations of Al-Shaya here in the UAE as well -- in Dubai, Raas Al Khaima, and Fujairah. All at least an hour from me. A flight to Kuwait is less time. Then again, a flight from Kuwait is no time -- well, none of my time anyway. I do know someone who will be returning to Abu Dhabi from Kuwait in a few weeks and they will gladly provide me enough lotion to last a lifetime.

But in the meantime?! What does a girl do?! For those of you men (and perhaps some women, ew) who don't have a clue -- there's a routine which takes place when a woman wakes up in the morning. It's an entire regimen that takes place like a well thought out plan of attack. This routine is generally broken down into 3 stages of action -- shower, makeup, hair. Each category is then broken down into a sub-category. I would give details, but I suspect every male reader would stop here and declare me the most obsessed chick on earth with my silly little routine.

Now, if one step of the routine is missing, out of place, or overlooked -- it's over. Done. The entire plan has fallen apart. From the moment we walk out the door with that feeling of "What did I forget?" (because we did forget something), our day just isn't quite right. Well, that was me, today. Lotionless, and out of sync. Yeah, I have a 'backup lotion' in case there's ever a national state of emergency and I run out of the stuff I love so much. But for the past several years I've planned so well this day had never come -- until now.

This morning, being sans Horof, I had to opt for my Clinique Body Butter. OK, I like Clinique enough, it's a fair product, and well, the body butter does give my shoulders that 'glow'. And considering my shoulders are my favorite body part (yeah, odd choice) that glow is imperative. No one sees my shoulders when I leave the home -- I'm always covered quite well. However, when I come home and throw on the yoga pants and tank top I love to see the glow. Clinique is definitely a qualified stand in.

I feel a flight to Kuwait coming up in the near future. Ugh, I am so not going this weekend. This is going to be my 'get into the bed and don't get out until next week' weekend. I so deserve it!

For the most part I consider myself quite the responsible woman. I manage to take care of everything I need to, and live a rather comfortable life. Meeting deadlines is fairly easy for me since I prefer to take on a task, complete it, and relax afterwards. I've found waiting until the last minute creates high stress, generates a poor outcome, and leaves room for a number of mistakes. Procrastination really is the enemy. Although, as responsible as I consider myself to be, there are always the ones out there who put me to shame and make me feel as though I'm not doing nearly enough to better my life. Those are the ones who spend their summer in libraries and labs for a number of hours a day without being forced to do so. Yeah, I'm impressed.

I have a couple of rather large deadlines coming up in the next few months for writing projects. No big deal really, I can get them done. And then I look around and see how little research I've actually completed. I recall when this task was 6 months away, now it's 3. Where did all that time go?!

Oh yeah -- life.



I love sleep. Really, like I enjoy it a lot. There are times when I do it just to be doing it, not really because I'm even sleepy. I love the feeling of the bed, the stretching, the wrapping up like a shwerma, and tucking my feet in. Lately sleep has been a rare commodity in my life and I've been getting through a number of days with 3 or less hours a night. Last night was a 5 hour night and I only feel slightly better. As I write this I find myself thinking of my bed, the cold bedroom, crisp clean Egyptian cotton sheets, the comforter wrapped around me -- and sleep. I've been told the sheets are like newspaper and the comforter the weight of a dead body. These were not complimentary statements about my bed in which I find so much comfort. Fair enough, I do have a thing for dry cleaned pressed sheets, and quality (Croscill) comforters. Bedding is not an area to skimp on in my opinion -- perhaps because I love to sleep? Don't I have writing and research to do?

Though I sit here, now in very deep thought about the bed and eyes getting heavy, I did manage to schedule a morning/afternoon at the salon Friday. Not only does this salon offer great services at a fair price, but they're open on Fridays! Who could ask for more? I don't really mind going on Saturday, but it feels so nice to start the weekend with excessive pampering. Oh yeah, well, I could be working on my writing assignments and research, but how can one resist the salon?

After the salon I may take a trip to Al Ain and check out what the bedoin part of Abu Dhabi has to offer. Don't ask... I have no idea what my intrigue is all about. Al Ain is about 120km from where I live in one direction -- approximately an hour drive (ok, 45 minutes but who wants to admit to exceeding the speed limit?). Whether or not I'll actually make it out of bed, or the salon in time is yet to be determined. Then of course I'll start obsessing over the lack of work I'm getting done. Oh well.



Factor in the schedules I create to maintain close contact with people on 3 different continents, and the fact that I count all money in 3 currencies, and it's enough to stress anyone. Who on earth has time for research when I can't even buy a Diet Pepsi without thinking in terms of AED converted to KD converted to USD?

Good grief, just writing about it exhausts me. I need a nap.

This is a question I get asked often here in Abu Dhabi -- "What kind of American are you?" When I was first asked this question, I really had no clue what they meant. Did they mean was I the type who hated the Middle East and was only here because of a military obligation? Or was I the type who came here for work as a contractor? I just really didn't get it. Therefore, my standard answer was, "The kind who respects herself, why would you ask that question?" It would then be explained they wanted to know where I was from 'originally'. Ahhhh, they mean before I was American?! Got it! This isn't a question I was ever asked in Kuwait -- perhaps because of the invasion and their familiarity with Americans on a more personal level?

I'm a 4th generation American on one side of the family... 5th on the other. I was born and raised in America, and grew up knowing nothing other than 'I'm American'. As people from other countries migrate to America they tend to become more 'Westernized' and lose sight of their original culture. I know many Arab families who have done so in as little as 2 generations. It's so disheartening to see Arab American children being raised by two 1st generation Arab Americans, yet not speaking a word of Arabic. That being said, you can imagine 4 and 5 generations later, we really are 'just American'.

The American population here in Abu Dhabi is also quite minimal -- especially compred to Kuwait where Americans are running around all over the country, behaving as though they've never left their backyard, and having the audacity to complain because the cashier at McDonalds doesn't speak perfect English. And we wonder why we're called 'Ugly Americans'? Ugh, the arrogance is disgusting.

Though being the only American within all sectors of my employment, as well as social life sometimes feels a bit isolated. I truly embrace our differences. I love to see how other cultures operate on an individual basis. If I had to come into my office every morning and be surrounded by Americans I would ask myself why I didn't just stay in America.

So, what kind of American am I? I still don't have a proper answer to this question as it only leads to 'No, originally?' which I could explain, but I don't relate to that part of me. Though I can trace family back to N. England, and even parts of the Middle East -- I don't share their features, their culture, or any knowledge of their lives. There were no cultural traditions passed down from generation to generation, we don't take vacations to visit our 'homeland', as America really is home. It's all I know.

In the end, I really am just a plain ol' American girl. Perhaps it sounds rather boring -- but I assure you I'm not!

Very rarely will I venture off into the topic of politics or religion. We're all different, we have our own beliefs, and who am I to question them? So please note, this isn't going to be about either... more the lacking IQ of the walking contradiction, shell of a woman, otherwise known as Sarah Palin.

From the time she was thrust into the public light, she has never let us down. We've had hours, days even, of laughter. Joke after joke. Late night talk show material for months! She's admitted her thoughts on foreign policy are limited to 'seeing Russia from Alaska'. She went on a 'bus tour' which was nothing other than a private jet flying her all over America, only to be picked up by a bus at the airport. She was accused of misusing campaign funds for tens of thousands of dollars worth of clothing, travel, and vacations for her and her family. Speaking of family, this is the same woman who spoke out against teen pregnancy and government support -- yet attempted to hide her own teen daughter's pregnancy, and even offered to adopt the baby in hopes she could pretend it never happened. And more recently, this is the same woman who generated an image indicating 'murder' of political figures would be acceptable (terrorism much, Sarah?). Finally, she was unable to name one publication she reads on a regular basis -- or at all for that matter. Not a newspaper, not a book, magazine -- hell, I would have been impressed if she named a blog at that point! Then of course there's the reading from her hand incident -- though some claim this was a dig at Obama. Oh the laughter we got from that one.

Now, in the past few days, Sarah Palin has made public her thoughts of a Mosque being built at the ground zero site in NYC. The fact she disapproves isn't the least bit shocking to me -- I mean, that would indicate she's taken the time to understand something. And we all know better. So far her opinions on the topic are geared towards the Mosque causing pain to Americans (umm, though the vast majority of the people praying at the Mosque would be American). Perhaps she doesn't consider a Muslim a real American? Or maybe just less than? But other than this 'pain' a Mosque would cause 'Americans', she's yet to give a valid reason. She's yet to pick up a book, consult with someone of higher knowledge (I nominate my cat), or even attempt to understand. Her statement is filled with undertones of 'Islam is bad'. However, she's always screaming, 'Unity!'. Unity amongst whom? The small minds? The ignorance? The ones who fit quite neatly into her perfect little world of contradictions?

She is the type of person who reminds us all racism and hate are alive and well. And to think... she's a representative of my country. Such a shame.

Should this woman ever get into a position of power... I will seriously consider never returning to America to live.

Article below:

It's been a lovely morning... waking on time, following my routine so closely... down to the minute even. Avoiding anything resembling 'morning rush hour' traffic, and savoring the raw almonds and Starbucks. I even managed to call and wake people at 5:30am their time -- just because.

Of course once I arrive to the office it's a different story. Though I admit, I love hectic, I love busy, and I love challenges. Productivity and growth are my passion. I thrive on making a difference. OK, so all of that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this post -- shocker.

Once things slowed down at the office this morning I had the opportunity to go through the 'online routine' of all the things I read on a regular basis. Of course Kuwait news is in there as it's generally more entertaining than informative -- but still, I likey.

This article is about an Egyptian man who goes into a salon and murders his Filipina wife who works there by stabbing her 31 times with a meat cleaver. Somewhat shocking for Kuwait, considering the size of the country and the population. Things like this happen in America almost daily -- so we're not quite as surprised when we read/hear about such acts.

What really does alarm me when I hear of these types of incidents is the fact we share a world with people carrying that level of hatred inside of them. The idea of causing harm to other people is painful to me... but to take a life?

In this case, the man left his home, weapon in hand, made his way to the salon where his wife worked, asked for her, waited for her to come out from the back of the salon -- and then murdered her. So much time to consider his actions. So much time to reconsider them.

Women in general (though many hate to admit it), depend on men to treat us with care. To be kind and protective. To be the one person to defend us from anything that could cause us harm -- and never to be the one who causes it. There's a security like no other that comes along with the trust in a man, the belief he will (more often than not) do the right thing.

I strongly believe in the 'formative years' being the time in life in which our core foundation is established. The ages range from 2-7 years old, varying with each child. Studies show these years set a pattern for our future. This is the time when our character is founded, and morals are set in place. These are very precious years of our lives when we depend on the people closest to us to afford us empathy, sympathy, kindness, and unconditional love.

So what happened to people like this man? What caused this ability to be so cruel, callous, and violent? Was his father a monster? His mother abusive? Family dynamics and relationships are so important to me for these reasons.

Update published in the Arab Times today:

Divorce, loss of kids may have sparked murderous rage PHILIPPINE EMBASSY VOWS JUSTICE FOR TWO MURDERED PINAYS

KUWAIT CITY, July 18: The Interior Ministry said on Sunday that its investigating units arrested the Egyptian national who was on the run and accused of murdering his spouse, a Philippines’ national, in a saloon in Jabriya.

 The ministry said in a statement police intelligence officers detained the husband, an Egyptian national, 38 years of age, in Bneid Al-Gar area.
 Earlier, clothes of the husband were found in Fahaheel area, it said, noting that the accused man has been referred to the investigation authority.

According to sources close to the victim, the possible motive behind the killing was the decision of the victim to leave her children with her mother in the Philippines. They said she just got back from her home country and the husband allegedly confronted her for depriving him of his right to be with his children. They added the couple had a heated argument over the decision, prompting the suspect to stab his wife several times, which led to her death.

Meanwhile, Mohammed, the watchman of the building where the salon is located, identified the victim as Norhaisa Nasa Andao — a 32-year-old Filipina employee at the salon. He revealed the victim was always fighting with her husband and everybody at the salon is aware of their constant arguments. He said the suspect used to visit the salon frequently to take his wife and their three children (two girls and one boy) to picnics until their relationship soured. He stated Norhaisa left the country about a month ago and took her three children with her but returned to Kuwait without them, adding fuel to the couple’s growing resentment against each other.
Mohammed also mentioned that the victim filed a complaint against her husband in court about 15 days ago and asked for divorce, claiming he is not a suitable husband.

When asked how he knows such details, Mohammed said the victim’s sister, who also works at the salon, told him about the couple’s disagreements. He added a travel ban had been imposed on the suspect as the victim had filed a case against him for allegedly threatening to kill her.
On the day of the killing, Mohammed said he went to a nearby bank to send money to his children in Egypt, and then he received calls from the tenants, telling him about the crime. He hurried back to the building and found the salon surrounded by police officers and detectives.
When Mohammed asked the staff of the salon, they told him the suspect came at 1:00 pm and asked to see his wife in a private area alone. After talking to his wife for about 10 minutes, the suspect allegedly grabbed a knife from his pocket and stabbed his wife more than 31 times in front of the astonished and horrified staff, including her sister, who was shaken by the turn of events and was not able to make any move for some time. The suspect escaped to an unknown destination immediately after the incident, he added.
Affirming the victim was a good person, Mohammed said the owner of the salon ordered its closure for three days.
Another source said the alleged killer dragged the victim by the hair, striking her repeatedly with his fists before taking out a big knife and repeatedly stabbing her.

Then, while the victim was lying on the floor and convulsing, the assailant proceeded to slash her in deliberate strokes slitting her stomach open in the process, unmindful of the other people there; and on seeing that the victim was no longer moving, stood up and hurriedly left.
All this happened while the victim’s co-workers and a lone customer who was there at the time watched in horror before someone had the presence of mind to open the parlor’s windows and shout for help.
It was the customer who reportedly called the police.
This was the eyewitness account of one of those who saw the whole thing but was reluctant at first to divulge any information saying she doesn’t want to be involved in anything regarding the case and later relented but refused to give her name.

According to information gathered from friends and acquaintances, the victim confided to them before that her husband had been on the run for some three months after learning she had filed a complaint with the police for maltreatment and physical abuse.
The victim also reportedly left their house in Nugra after that and lived with friends in fear of her husband.
The day before the killing, a friend of the victim who works in another salon in the same building reportedly saw a man she recognized as the husband sitting by the staircase holding what she said she could make out as a long knife wrapped in a plastic shopping bag.

Workers of a restaurant right across the building where the salon was located, and a nearby bakeshop said they were alerted by the shouts for help coming from the building but did not respond as they did not know what was happening. They said they then saw a man coming down the steps of the building and walking at a normal pace at first before breaking into a run after seeing the growing crowd, leaving his sandals behind in his hurry to leave the place.
The same sources also said that the victim’s husband, the assailant, is somewhere in his late 30s or early forties and is also reportedly jobless.

Meanwhile, the Philippine Embassy in Kuwait is closely coordinating with Kuwaiti authorities to ensure that justice will be served to the two Filipino women who were killed recently in two separate incidents, disclosed Philippine Vice Consul Rea Oreta on Sunday to the Arab Times.
Oreta informed that the Office of the Chief Prosecutor has already issued a warrant arrest for the Egyptian national who stabbed on Saturday his Filipina wife.
“The police have already launched an intensive manhunt against the suspect and issued a travel ban. The Philippine Embassy has also written the Ministry of Foreign Affairs requesting for assistance to expedite the arrest of the suspect,” she cited.

Oreta also identified the victim as Norhaisa Nasa Andao, 32 and a native of Mindanao. “We only have raw information in our hands as authorities are still investigating on the matter. Initial investigations show that the suspect killed the victim in a fit of jealousy.  Hopefully, everything will come to light soon on what’s the real motive that prompted the suspect to commit such a heinous crime,” pointed out Oreta.
On the other case of the Filipina whose body was found in Kabd area, the Vice Consul revealed that a case was already filed against the Kuwaiti couple who allegedly tortured their Filipina household service worker and ran her over with a car to death in Kabd area. The victim was identified as Asria Samad Abdul, 34 and a native of Datu Odin Sinsuat, Maguindanao in Southern Philippines.

“Case number 2092010 has been filed against the Kuwaiti couple of Egyptian descent and they are now detained for further investigation. We are monitoring the case and we hope the case would soon be heard at the Court of First Instance following the admission of the couple that they committed the crime,” she stressed.

Oreta disclosed that the bodies of the two Filipinas have been referred to the General Department of Criminal Evidence for forensic examination. “The Philippine Embassy vows to pursue these two cases and we will also do our best to expedite the repatriation of their remains to the Philippines as soon as investigations have been completed,” she stressed.

After yesterday's post I had friends contacting me asking if I was OK. Was it that bad? Did I seem as though I was on the verge of jumping?! I'm outstanding! And thank you for your concern to my peepers.

For those of you who do know me -- as a person -- know I am incredibly passionate, emotional, and sometimes expect far too much from mankind (not only the male species). Well, let me rephrase... I expect the things of people that are simple, easy, free, and abundantly available. Houses? Cars? Lavish vacations? Eh, those things are meaningless in the big scheme of things. I prefer to surround myself with people of depth, intellect, and substance. Those who can have conversations about things other than 'the weather'. They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach (and ooooh, I can cook)... but the way to mine is through my mind. I need that mental and psychological stimulation. Which I get, by the way. This isn't the 'desperate girl complaining about pathetic men' post.

There are times when my thoughts manage to find their way into places some can't comprehend -- which I think perhaps qualifies me as mentally unstable. Or borderline genius. However, I believe they're one in the same. So, well, yeah -- yay me!



Recently, I've been very fortunate to encounter new and exciting people. Remember... mental stimulation. So, no, these aren't the 'hottie Emirati' kinda people. These are people with a mind, a purpose, a drive in life, and goals. Ahhhhh, now THAT's hot! This isn't to say hottie Emiratis or the concupiscent Kuwaiti can't possess these qualities... but let's be serious here. There's about as much chance as finding one of those as there is stumbling across a nest of newborn Bald Eagles in the deserts of the GCC.

So yeah, back to brilliance...

It's these mentally stimulating people, with their thought provoking presence who engender the depth, the passion. These people communicate on levels which don't require words... but the message is clear.

Please note; these people are not necessarily men, so please, minds out of the gutter!

I truly embrace our differences, learning, experiencing, and envisaging things I never thought possible. When I find myself disheartened with mankind as a whole -- quietly, mysteriously, and without notice -- the most amazing people present themselves.

Life Is Good -- buy the socks.

If you think you're lonely now... wait until tonight. Ah, music.

I take great pride in being myself, living a life I truly love, and having a sense of control over almost everything -- it's self preservation. I'm really not a control freak. Like everyone else, I've been hurt too. Trusted, believed, submerged only to be wondering what happened to cause so much pain. Fortunately, as time has passed, and I'm reaching 30 (that sounded good, huh?), I've become a bit more wise. I've identified things that cause me pain and I avoid them. It's a simple plan and it works. Perhaps its only flaw is the isolation it can lead to -- the, what others would call, 'boring life'. Though I am perfectly happy, and well protected in my boring life.

I have this theory -- everything is acceptable as long as I cause no one harm. I attempt to live my life this way and sometimes find I falter. It's not my intention, I really am better than that. But, like everyone else, I'm a work in progress.

If I were cold, cruel, mean, and acted with malintent, and others saw this -- they would see me as cold, cruel, mean, and malicious. In turn, because their perception of me would be as such, I would be exactly what they perceived me as. Perception is reality. It's unfortunate, but oh so true.

And what if it were the other side of that? Seeing someone as so incredible they stand alone in this world in your eyes. Perceiving them as truly unique, one of a kind, and the epitome of genuine. Does this make it so? Is our perception really so powerful that we can turn a mere mortal into super human? Or does this just place burdens on them to live up to unrealistic expectations?

Is it possible we crave something from so deep within that we just start to categorize people by perception? Do we grasp onto that idea so tightly that we begin to manipulate it psychologically into what we're hoping it is? Or what we want it to be?

If this is the case, what happens when they don't live up to our perception? Is this where perception is no longer the reality, and reality becomes real? Is this where we step back, evaluate, and refuse to settle? Or is this the point we start being manipulated? Is this the line that's crossed when one ventures from fantasy to reality?

At what point does one stop settling? When is enough really enough? What are the levels of empathy and forgiveness that define 'enough'? And who's to determine that? What is the fixable? What isn't? What's big, or little? Isn't the perceiver the one who gets to decide?

If we attempt to alter the situation at hand enough, will the perception change? Will that become the reality? If we remove the exterior, dissect it to the smallest possible scale, and manipulate the atoms which create it -- do we change the outcome? Do we change the reality? Or does reality change?

If perception really is reality, and reality really is flawed -- can I have a new address?

Ahhhh, music. Are there words to define it?

Regardless of where I am in the world, what mode of transportation I'm using, or whether I'm in a place of business or pleasure -- there's music. It's a very large part of my life, and my tastes are quite eclectic; ranging from Jazz to Classical to old R&B and even more current stuff.

In Kuwait I had my own 'personal musician' (Hiiiiiii, Mr. Mohd!) who would play piano for me upon request -- for hours. If I wasn't at his house where the piano was located, he would call me... and play. I would cry. The passion in his raw talent touched me so deeply within. And to this day, though I'm in Abu Dhabi and he's in Kuwait -- he will still play for me. If my life allowed for it I would have a full time Pianist sitting at a Baby Grand inside my home, playing for me all day, filling the air with sounds of seduction.

Music tells a story -- lyrics simply accompany the story.

I have zero musical talent (no really, ZERO). But I admit, I've never invested too much time in learning -- other than the 6th grade Flute fiasco where I managed to master 'Mary Had a Little Lamb' (which I can still play on a touch tone telephone by the way... go me!) and then, upon learning the C note it was far too complicated. Music is a foreign language to me, and well, languages aren't my strong point either. However, like music, I could listen to the Arabic words cross 'his' lips for hours, only comprehending the basics, but totally lost in the sound of seduction and passion. Of course he could be discussing the weather -- I hear it as something so much deeper.

Below is a remake of a song from a number of years ago. I generally don't do remakes... but in this case, it's better than the original. Simplicity with message which runs deeper than most people I know.

Disclaimer: Yes, it is my understanding Elliott Yamin is Jewish... get over it. Seriously. If people of the world would stop judging others based on religion, race, ethnicity, etc. unity would rule. We could all live in the essence of music. Surely this was the purpose from the beginning. Now I shall head off to Starbucks and purchase coffee which pays the bills of the Jewish CEO. For those of you who have a problem with this -- take a look around your house, if you own any Unilever products (and you do), you play your role as well. Hypocrisy at its finest.



 

OK, so I'm operating on a couple of hours of sleep again... I sure hope I can manage to complete a sentence here. Sometimes I think the lack of sleep generates a deluge of thoughts which I feel compelled to write about. I'm quite thankful for spell check.

What does a girl have to do to get a cup of coffee this time of the day? Ugh. I hear sleep calling my name.

Yeah, so, well, anyway... I had a conversation with a female friend of mine this morning who I adore and respect. We're quite similar in many ways -- and have differences in others. We're a good combination and enjoy one another's company. Sometimes it's almost as if we can read one another's thoughts. Think there's a chance she'll come busting through the door with a cup of coffee? Eh, doubtful.

Moving right along to the topic at hand (do you people really read this babbling bunch of nonsense?)...

We were discussing men, women, relationships... you know, the typical chick stuff. Because, like me, she has lived in the Middle East for many years, she's quite familiar with the 'game' as we so kindly refer to it as. It's that thing men are playing when you think you're in a relationship. Over a period of time women see right through the 'game' and never get caught up in it. Some of us are fortunate enough to have recognized it for what it was the first time, and never bothered ourselves playing. This doesn't make us better than other women, just perhaps more aware of what we're seeking. Or perhaps what we're not.

What it really comes down to is self respect and what a woman is willing to accept. As much as it feels like he has the control, we really always do.



New relationships are like a business. No offense to anyone. But, in a business there's a mutual respect that has to be earned through proving your reliability. There's a leader, and a follower. There's the mastermind behind it all, and the one who makes things happen. One sits in the background, quietly creating proposals, while the other learns the Operation side of the house. One manages, one operates. Relationships are really not that different.

Unless there's a lack of respect. How does one change that? How does one truly weed out the good CVs as opposed to the bad ones and make the right choice regarding someone who's going to invest in the best interest of the company and stick around to watch it grow?

Self respect. Period. So easy.

Women are incredibly powerful creatures. After all, we do possess the foundation and purpose of the 'game'. They want it, we have it. So why, when it's all said and done, are women sitting around hurt wondering why they were used and discarded? Easy -- they gave away the prize before the game even began.

Men, on the other hand, are very simple creatures. Not stupid -- just simple. They're far more animalistic than the female with her little white heart filled with empathy and love. The male thrives on the hunt, embraces the chase, and savours the conquer of it all.

A man is quite happy staying in the hunt and chase portion of a relationship for quite some time. He still has his eye on the prize... but he's embracing the chase. The charm of a woman alone can captivate a man for a very long time. Her mere presence can keep him interested far longer than the woman is aware. During this time, the man is also getting to know, and maybe even respect this woman. He's not aware of that -- remember, his mind is elsewhere. Yet he's still human, he can't control all of his emotions.

If the woman makes the tragic (and I do mean seriously tragic) mistake of giving into the man's 'game' too soon -- she's ended the 'relationship' before it even began. While he was mastering the chase, she was mistaking it for emotions. While he was going above and beyond attempting to conquer, she thought he was in love. As he felt he was getting closer, and knew the game was working, he was buying condoms... she was looking at wedding dresses. Oh silly, silly women.

Using the feminine rapture to our advantage requires self respect. Without it we're desperate, needy, weak, and pathetic. I've seen a number of women use what they consider their sexuality and flirtatious actions to entice a man, thinking they're in control. Sorry, sweetie, the art of flirting requires sensuality, not sexuality. It requires intelligence, not incompetence. And the ability to arouse a man's interests while keeping your panties on.

Men, though simple creatures, are far from idiots. They too love mental stimulation, and the stroking of the ego while keeping your hands to yourself. If all you have to offer is sexual -- remember, he has hands. Giving him the physical doesn't satisfy his needs... it only concludes the conquering phase of the 'game'. If it was easy enough, chances are he'll be back for seconds. If he feels there's effort required... game over.

Once the woman starts to respect herself, and displays this to the man -- she has a better chance of keeping him around longer than a couple of weeks. Or, well, whatever length of time it took for him to conquer.