"Whered ared you"

"Diwaneeeeeyah"

"Nokia Ears"

"No woman in the middle of the night"

"Close that"

 

And a few other select words in Arabic that he won't tell me the meaning of. He won't even repeat them in Arabic out of fear I'll ask someone what they mean.

 

Oh, if he starts talking about chickens after he reads this...it's not true.

 

He's quite amazing.

OK, no matter how I try to type this one it's going to seem bad...just very, very bad. But here goes...

 

As I have stated before I am not a Kuwaiti woman's favorite person at all. I have had nothing but negative experiences with them, and honestly, it gets a little old from time to time. I am human too, a woman even. I not only deserve the same respect they demand, but I have earned it, whereas they feel a sense of entitlement.

 

Getting to the point....I had another parking lot incident. Yes, yes, yet another parking space has created contention in my otherwise peaceful little life here in Kuwait.

 

The boyfriend and I were out and about in Kuwait, and I was simply trying to park my car in a space where someone was pulling out. Of course like an American I turned on my turn signal and patiently waited for the car to back up and leave so I could take his spot. Well, as he was backing up and pulling out a Kuwaiti woman took it upon herself to pull right into the space, though she saw me sitting there waiting. In America this kind of morbid disrespect would NEVER happen, as people aren't just outright rude as if they were raised by animals in the woods. This woman had about as much class as a 2kd whore. Clearly she didn't make a friend in me.

 

Anyway, her actions were very disturbing to me. I even took it very personally (as it was personal), and I started to cry. I know, I know, it was a parking space and crying wasn't necessary, but it hurt my feelings. I did pull up next to her, rolled my window down, and told her she was wrong, but it didn't take away my pain.

 

Apparently seeing me cry generates a very protective nature in my boyfriend as he decided he was going to fix the whole problem, stop me from crying, and...well, since the Kuwaiti woman wanted the parking space so badly, he was going to make sure she spent a LOT of time there.

 

I suppose exactly what he did isn't really important, it's more why he did it. He did it for me, and as bad as it was, I have never felt more cared for in my life. He has no idea how much it meant to me, since of course I couldn't promote his behavior. Not only did I not promote it, but the whole time I was telling him to get back in the car, terrified people would see him. 

 

In America what he did would be considered a crime. In Kuwait I believe it's just punishment. I also believe the Kuwaiti woman is STILL sitting in the parking lot with her car. A sick part of me takes pleasure in that.

 

 

Well, as of yesterday at some odd hour in the middle of the night it became Ramadan. Apparently the moon determines the starting day of this highly religious event. Strangely enough, I didn't even see the moon the night of Ramadan. Maybe that's how it's determined? No clue.

 

I do know I have never been more confused in my life. I mean, I know I am not allowed to eat, drink, or smoke during the daylight hours in public, as it would be disrespectful and inappropriate though I am not Muslim. But it's so unclear to me what actually takes place. I mean, where do they go (the people)? What do they do?

 

During Ramadan the Muslims must abstain from many different things, but mostly eating, drinking, smoking, and sex until there is some prayer, and then it's dark, or something along those lines. But, here in Kuwait the Kuwaitis sleep all day anyway, so what are they really abstaining from? I mean, they sleep all day, stay awake all night, and now they're still sleeping all day and staying awake all night? I just don't quite get it...maybe I never will.

 

Because I am trying so desperately to understand their culture and religion I decided yesterday, on the first day of Ramadan, that I would not eat, drink, or smoke during the daylight hours. I too wanted to know how they feel. Difference is, I was awake and at work all day, so maybe I was feeling it just a little more than they were. Anyway, I ended up eating, drinking, and smoking around 7pm...I was a bit thirsty at that point. I was later told that beause I don't pray I really don't have to refrain from those things, or I am basically just wasting my time.

 

I woke up this morning to a cigarette and coffee.

 

Ramadan lasts for 30 days, and I have a feeling with each passing day I am going to learn more and more about it as it is really affecting my personal life in so many ways.

 

I love this culture and this country. I am looking forward to each lesson I learn.

There is a love I have for this culture, and a desire I possess to understand it to the best of my ability, and to experience it to the fullest. However, there are some lines that just can't be crossed...

 

Me riding in the backseat!

 

Long story short, my boyfriend's best friend needed a ride. My boyfriend was driving, I was in the passenger seat, and then he said, "When he gets in the car you should sit in the backseat." Of course at first I thought he must be joking. I mean really...he MUST be joking! After a few minutes I discovered he was serious. I suggested that instead of me getting in the backseat, I would drive instead. Based upon the look on his face, I assume he thought I was joking as well.

 

Once his friend got in the car I asked him if it would offend him if I remained in the front seat, although I understood my "place" was in the back. He very politely told me "fuck the culture, you stay where you are." I was impressed with his ability to respect me above some silliness men here are taught.

 

Oh, 30 minutes later I was driving and the two dishdasha wearing, Arabic speaking Kuwaiti men were passengers.

 

I suppose the power of a woman translates in every language.

 

How I love Kuwait!

A couple of nights ago, shortly after the Burger King evening, I was with the boyfriend in the same area I had previously fed the stray dogs. It was rather late...ok, very late, and there were a lot of dogs out, however, Burger King was closed. So, after a little resistence, my boyfriend went inside another restaurant and got several burgers from there for my dogs.

 

Keeping in mind, this man knows almost everyone from the area he lives in, and being with me feeding stray dogs couldn't have been easy for him. But he claims the happiness it brings me was all he needed.

 

Also, I have come to discover it isn't that they hate dogs, it's that they're taught the dog is "unclean" and there is something on its fur that will get on your hands, in your eyes, etc. I say that's the case with a tomato too, but they don't neglect them. Either way, a very devout Muslim will probably not be willing to touch a dog as easily as say....ME!

 

During the time I was feeding these stray dogs, I think the boyfriend saw a true happiness in me, and a genuine honest love for animals. And since that time I have seen him soften, and even leave food for stray cats after we're done eating.

 

There are times he does things that are so kind, and so giving, yet I don't think he even realizes it because he is so busy being concerned with my happiness.

 

If only the rest of Kuwait could soften based upon my smile alone.

As much as I love Kuwait and the people of this little country, I absolutely despise the way animals are treated here. I believe I have mentioned that before. As I drive through certain areas, especially in the evening when the weather is much cooler and it's actually tolerable outside, I see several stray cats and dogs. I usually roll my window down as I am driving and speak to them all. The cats will run away very fast, and the dogs...well, let's just say they don't see me as their best friend either.

 

It really breaks my heart to see animals so severely neglected as these are. So tonight, as I was on my way back to my home I passed about 3 stray dogs. They're actually very masculine and controlling like the men of Kuwait -- standing on the side of the road, barking at every passing car as if to say, "You're in my part of Kuwait now!" Unfortunately, these poor dogs are very malnourished, and clearly not taken care of by anyone. Of course having the weakness for animals that I do I decided tonight was Burger King night for the stray dogs! I stopped at the local Burger King and got them all a double cheeseburger and then returned to their "space" with the food. The adult female and male weren't very interested in getting too close to me, however, they had a great interest in that food. There was a younger dog, maybe 4-5 months old, and he was more than willing to come close to me to get his burger. Unfortunately, like Kuwaiti men, when they were finished they looked at me with their big brown eyes as if to say, "Don't I get more?"

 

I have decided that once a week is going to be Burger King night for the stray dogs in the area I spend most of my time. I can only hope in time their trust for me will grow and I will get the opportunity to pet them.

 

There's nothing wrong with doing things the "American way" every now and then.

Yesterday one of the guys from my office and I decided to go to Marina Mall. OK, I needed to go and he was nice enough to come with me. Thanks, Jason!!

 

It's certainly no secret that Kuwait is the #1 worst and most dangerous place in the world to drive...and it really is! Crazy doesn't even describe it! Let me assure you parking is no better or safer.

 

Getting to the point...

 

We pull into the Marina Mall parking, as usual it's a little crowded, and there's a car in front of us also looking for a place. She drives forward, but then notices a car behind her pulling out, so she proceeded to put her car in reverse in hopes of taking that spot. Well, my thought was, "She drove past it, I am in the right position, it's mine." Therefore, I wasn't moving. I think it was a matter of principal at this point.

 

After a few moments of horn honking and motioning for one another to move she gets out of her car and approaches mine. I wish I hadn't rolled my window down and pretended I couldn't hear her just for effect, but I didn't want to be cruel. She tried to explain to me she was there first, I explained I was there second. We debated for a moment about who was actually going to park in this spot (keep in mind there are people in a car waiting to pull out of the spot who are blocked in by our pettiness). Finally this woman who so desperately wanted that spot said to me, "I know you Americans don't like us Kuwaiti people, and we are not as "organized" as Americans, but I was here first." It was then I backed up and gave her the spot.

 

I will never see this woman again, nor will I ever meet her family, friends, etc. But to think this woman truly felt Americans didn't like them, and that was the reason for the parking spot dispute was heartbreaking to me. I could have never allowed her to go away thinking it was because I was American that I wanted to park there, or because she was Kuwaiti.

 

I suppose I lost out on the parking space, but hopefully made a very valuable point to someone. Even if just myself.

 

However, the Kuwaiti men in the Lamborghini next to us were quite impressed with my willingness to stand up for my parking rights! Some things really are important I suppose?

When does one's behavior cross the line into inhumane, or just blatant disrespect? Is that based upon what they're taught, or just general human kindness?

 

As I started to type this I realize this topic is far too large and complex to post as a daily thought. It's going to require its own page, so that's what I'll do now.

 

However, I would just like to touch on the fact that here in Kuwait the Kuwaitis, though very loving and good people, seem to have a very abusive and cruel nature about them without even knowing it. And when it's pointed out by someone like me there is always a "reason" their behavior is normal.

 

For instance -- last night the "boyfriend" and I went to get food. First of all, here you just pull up, blow the horn, and some little Indian man comes running to take your order (no matter how far away you're parked). Second, they rush the food out to you as if they're terrified you're going to be angry about anything! And then you take your food (which is always amazing) and you either eat there or you leave. We stayed there and ate, during which time Indian men were looking through the trash cans in front of us for aluminum cans to sell and make money. I asked the "boyfriend" to roll down his window and hand the man money, so he did. However, when we were finished eating he rolled down the window, got the attention of one of these poor men, and had him throw our trash away in the same trash he was just digging for cans in. Granted he did give him our leftover food, but still!! This Indian man did not work for the restaurant! It was not his JOB to throw away our trash. When I mentioned this it was explained that we gave money, and food, etc. So we did the right thing, therefore them throwing away our trash was no big deal.

 

Once I was over the shock of this, I tried to explain to the "boyfriend" that regardless of what we gave to those men, they are still men. Men with pride and ego. Men who are in a land away from their own digging in the trash for aluminum cans to sell in hopes of getting a meal. All while my "boyfriend" is sitting there in dishdasha, gutra, showered, clean and looking amazing.

 

I had hoped that by reminding him this Indian was just another man, like him, he would be able to show some empathy. But, none yet. I am still working on it, and I will continue to all the time.

 

The Kuwaitis are wonderful people, they really are, but there is nothing on this earth more arrogant than a Kuwaiti man (other than me maybe). And my attempts at reminding them they're human just like everyone else aren't going so well so far. Again, I will never give up.

 

When does one stop following their instincts and have faith in a culture? Is this wise? How is it that Americans can be taught all of our lives to "follow our instincts" and Arab countries can be taught to "follow Allah" yet we're all just people?

 

Maybe the time has come to accept my "instincts" as American taught insecurities and let them go. Or maybe I should have faith in the words that are said to me, and what my heart so desperately wants to believe.

 

I suppose my fear is like all other humans -- if I let my guard down I am vulnerable. Fair enough.

 

But if all I have learned about their culture is true, then why is my guard up in the first place? What about all of the honesty and loyalty I have learned? Does that just go out the window because of my instincts?

 

Sometimes I wish I were a complete idiot bumbling through life on a whimsical moment. Without a thought or a care in the world. It would be then I could just flow without concerns.

 

Oh how blissful the ignorance really would be.

Five years ago today one of the most tragic events ever took place in the United States. This horrible act was committed against us by a Muslim man and a few select followers.

 

Again....by one man and a few followers.

 

Being in a Muslim country I do have a very slight fear about going into town tonight, and I would be crazy if I didn't. But, not because I blame Muslims, or feel they're responsible for 9/11, because they're not.

 

Again....by one man and a few followers.

 

I know amazing people here in Kuwait, just as I do in America. Yes, there are differences, a lot of them. But inside we're the same. We share the same blood, the same tears, the same heart and soul. They cry just as we cry. They hate just as we hate. But they also love just as we love.

 

Again....by one man and a few followers.

 

What happened on September 11, 2001 is not something Muslims ever want to see happen again. Nor do they want something like that to happen to them. Of course I can only comment based upon my conversations with them, I am in no way attempting to speak for them. But when asked I am told they hate what happened, however they have a better understanding for the reasons behind it. But in no way do they support it, or condone it. In no way are they happy about what took place, and in no way do they wish this on anyone in the future.

 

Again....one man and a few followers.

 

Today I send my deepest sympathies to the families who lost a loved one on this tragic day 5 years ago. And I also send my deepest apologies to any Muslim who endured cruelty after these events simply for being Muslim.

 

Hating an innocent person for any reason will never bring back a loved one. But hating an innocent person based upon religion or culture will kill you inside.

 

I promote and support cultural diversity. If everyone took 5 minutes a day to understand something they hated, they might find they really loved it. Happiness would take the place of their misery, and lives could resume in a positive way.

 

From my heart...

What a concept. Someone says something and it matters.

 

In America most people are driven by success, money, greed, and being "better than" the next guy. In Kuwait there are people like that as well, but they're not the standard here. The average Kuwaiti is raised with family values, respect, and honoring the family name. In my world if someone in the family goes to jail or commits a crime, well, you hire a Lawyer, get them out, and hope they never do it again. Here it's a huge issue. Depending upon what was done it could disrespect the family name, it could cause great social problems for that family, and it's just something that isn't done.

 

When we're forced to abide by laws that we really don't even believe in, how loyal are we really going to be to that system? But when you've been taught to respect something so much you will always do right by it. Not because you have to, but because you want to.

 

How I wish I had something to believe in the way this world believes. I long to understand their passion, and I envy their honesty.

 

Sometimes words aren't even necessary here. Their actions show it all. No one needs promises and guarantees, they just speak and it's done.

 

It gives me so much to think about.

In our culture, or lack thereof, we are usually taught from a young age that people are lying to us, or trying to get something for nothing. If this isn't a lesson our parents say to us verbally, it's certainly something we discover on our own as small children.

 

Here in Kuwait it's completely different. In most cases when someone speaks, that's it. There is no question or doubt. It's just a man's word, and it's final. I find that I hear so many things from such a wonderful man, yet as an American I also find I am constantly asking myself, "What is the angle here?"

 

I believe I have discovered what the angle is...

 

Truth. Just speak and mean it. Ensure your actions match your words. And when you feel, make sure it's from your heart.

 

I am learning something new every day, and it always seems to be more valuable than the last time. I always assumed I would only learn about religion and clothes here, and instead I am learning about truth, values, and morals. Things I have never learned in America.

 

It's refreshing to trust.

 

 

I am finding in this little land of sand, respect is demanded by men, and only earned by women. Unfortunately, I have news for all of them...I will be respected, period.

 

Today, while sitting in Starbucks with the "boyfriend" we had a discussion about what was acceptable of one another and what wasn't. Well, considering I already felt like a criminal sitting there with a Kuwaiti man in dishdasha, I was only partially listening to the conversation. However, I did gather that it is basically acceptable for him to provide me with a set of rules and I am expected to abide by them. Although, I am more than welcome to give him rules as well, he will only abide by the ones he deems necessary. When asked why I got the standard, "You are a woman and I am a man" reply. Not really sure why a woman isn't given the same respect that she gives to her man, but I can assure you I'll test this as far as it can be tested.

 

Yes, possibly this is insane. Maybe the idea of me being involved with a Kuwaiti man in any way is stupid on my part. Maybe I really am making a huge mistake, and maybe I am trusting someone who can't be trusted. But in my heart I believe differently. And in my heart I feel there are good people on this earth, and people who can be trusted and respected.

 

I suppose I am still learning.

OK, it was quite boring in my office today. It was two other guys and myself here all day. One of them being American, the other being Kuwaiti. However, he might as well be American. So, we decided we were bored, needed to get out and wanted to go to dinner. I am usually the one who wants the local food consisting of hummus and flat bread, though they wanted Ruby Tuesday. Um, we're in KUWAIT!! Why on earth would I want to eat American food here?!?!

 

I suppose my point is; American men, American food, and such an American night. Rather boring actually. If it weren't for the dishdasha walking all over the restaurant I would have never known I had left the USA.

 

When the highlight of your evening is looking at some amazing man in a dishdasha at a Ruby Tuesday while in Kuwait, you know you're really lacking something.