I believe I have vented before about this... but -- Starbucks in Kuwait doesn't open until 6:30am. This is standard, and there doesn't seem to be an exception. You can grocery shop at 4am, get a Big Mac at 5:30am, and even get your hair done at 10pm, but a cup of coffee from Starbucks? Sorry... that's a 6:30am event. Period.

So this morning, probably 5am'ish or so, I was out and decided I really needed coffee. I pull into the McDonald's drive-thru, in hopes the big McCafe sign is an indication the coffee selection has improved since the last time I was daring enough to order coffee at McDonald's in 1991. Yeah, it was that bad. I get to the window and the lovely little woman looks at me almost as if I am invisible, and she's struggling to see if there's actually a car at the window expecting service. I asked her about the McCafe and told her I want a Mocha Latte. She doesn't acknowledge a word I said, walks back into the preparation area, spews out a few things in a language I sure don't know, then comes back to tell me, "Sorry ma'am, we only have Cafe Mocha Latte." I smiled and said, "That will be fine" (uh, how she assumes there's a difference is beyond me). She returns with a cup the size of a shot glass (ok, a little bigger), with a hot drink obviously dispensed by a machine. I asked again about McCafe, thinking maybe I had to go inside to get the "real" coffee experience, and she said, "No ma'am, they open at 6:30am." Perhaps they're owned by Starbucks? It's definitely a conspiracy. Either way, I had machine pumped latte whatever, and was happy enough.

Oh, that wasn't the important part of the story, that was just my morning drama.

So, you know how I often complain about selfish, rotten, spoiled, Kuwaiti brats who are in their adult years? Usually men? I am going to take most of it back!

When I arrived at McDonald's there was a car in front of me, it appeared to be only 2 men, but a 3rd head popped up from the backseat when the driver announced a woman was in the car behind them. I had my windows up, and heard what sounded like yelling, and I could see the Arab hand waving around like a tree in a tornado out of the driver's window. I rolled my window down slightly, honestly assuming he was yelling in Arabic at the person working the drive-thru window. I was shocked and delighted to hear him speaking in English, laughing, and joking with the man at the window. He kept trying to tell him "no mustard" in English, but couldn't figure out how to say mustard. The man working the window (and the woman who took my order) were both trying to teach him the word for mustard and they were all laughing, including his passengers. Once they got their order (without mustard I hope), he said very clearly, "Thank you!" At this point I almost fell out of my car in shock. As he was driving away he did turn his music up so loud it could have been heard for miles, but hey, he was young... and otherwise very polite. His parents should be commended and proud!

I like to believe this is a little tiny sign that the world is changing. If Kuwaitis can start laughing, joking, being fair, kind, and polite... something is definitely going on out there!

Sorry, I'm wavering from the plan. Forgive me!

A friend emailed me yesterday and asked if I could be more specific and elaborate a little more regarding my Presidential candidate of choice. He's curious as to how my years in the Middle East could perhaps play a role in how I cast my vote. To be honest, I don't think my Middle Eastern ties have influenced me too greatly. I am American, 100%. Of course anything that takes place in my country is of great importance to me. Unfortunately, I believe I am slightly jaded when it comes to Presidential elections and candidates. Since the Bush Cheat-a-Thon, I firmly believe that with enough "wasta" I could get elected, and not even run. I believe this is going to be the most dishonest election ever in the USA. There are already numerous early votes not being counted, states claiming they accidentally miscounted overseas votes, so those don't count. Of course those people can vote again, but are you aware of the efforts that go into a US Soldier in Iraq casting a vote? Somethings aren't just as easy as "re-do." There are numerous indications that deceit will overpower American votes, and the American people's voices will be muted to meet the needs of the establishment. Freedom? Huh?

That being said, I'll move to my love for a very particular part of the other side of the world... Jahra, Kuwait.

From the Arab Times today:

Violence turning into epidemic

The recent assault on a medical doctor at a government clinic in Taimaa (Jahra) indicates a deeper social and cultural problem we are currently facing in Kuwait. In the recent Jahra incident according to the report by Arab Times, security men “rushed to the scene and arrested” the mother of the culprit who was a youth (Oct 22 ,2008). A couple of weeks earlier, a group of rowdy youths transformed Jahra hospital into a battlefield where they according to witnesses started beating and brutalizing each other. Being born and raised in that particular old and historical part of Jahra city, it is painful for me to read or hear about such outright acts of violence as they continue to happen in my beloved glittering city! Jahra in Arabic means a glittering or shiny place, a term historically adopted for Jahra due to an ancient practice of its people to paint their houses  white.  In any case, I personally came to the conclusion, a couple of months ago, that it is more probable these days that some medical doctors or some government employees, or security guards at schools or those expatriates who are running their own businesses will be insulted or physically assaulted in Jahra! This, of course, does not mean that it is turning into a violent place. However, due to the increase in population, whether migrants from other Kuwaiti areas or the increase in the number of marginal workers currently roaming our streets, coupled with the lack of effective security solutions, crime rates are apparently on the rise. Apparently, not a single day passes without reading about some violent acts or hooliganism being committed in Jahra. Though I, in my column in Al Seyassah daily and some other colleagues have raised the issue of the increase in the number of muggings, fights and boisterous and rowdy behavior, no one seems to be listening or making any effort to curb such negative phenomenon. The Interior Ministry, the Social Ministry or any other responsible government department really need to study this new kind of emerging violence before it gets worse. We need to face this kind of violence before it turns into an “epidemic,” threatening the safety of all our citizens and expatriate friends. In addition, the local security authorities, whether in Jahra, or other areas around Kuwait, need to come up with some quick and effective solutions to stop the spread of violent acts among youths before such violence starts undermining our social harmony and peace.    Physical and verbal violence whether committed in Jahra or in a mall in Salmiya, just a couple of days ago, or any violent act committed on our roads and streets indicates a deterioration which needs to be confronted head on. Such criminal acts usually take the form of a group of youth assaulting other youths and sometimes girls or expatriate workers and families are caught in the crossfire. Such fights usually begin with rude behavior towards other individuals or families or it can start in sudden verbal attacks against the victims. These incidents tend to escalate into brutal fistfights causing a lot of havoc among the public while public places or private businesses face destruction. Actually, these fights sometimes go beyond their original locations and continue on the street! Moreover, a couple of weeks earlier, Arab Times reported a similar fight involving two Egyptian artisans in Amgarah, which is an industrial and junk complex in Jahra (Oct 26).   We cannot just stand on the side and watch our local security situation worsen while fewer police officers are stationed on our streets while we lack effective solutions to end such problems before they begin. It is in fact quite logical that if we increase the number of securitymen in our residential areas and our malls fewer violent acts will take place. As in the case of Jahra, those involved in violent acts against their peers or against government employees...etc would think twice before committing that outrage if they knew that the authorities would severely punish them. In other countries, the UK for example, the authorities deploy technological solutions in their fight against such physical violence and youth fights. They use as a case in point “anti-vandal devices” or what is known as the Mosquito to fight anti-social behavior committed by some teens. Violent crimes, physical abuse, and outright reckless behavior committed by some young thugs whether in Jahra or in other areas around Kuwait need to be considered as a national security threat. If any would-be culprit is ready to use physical violence against whomever they wish, the security authorities need to move in and stop such destructive behavior. Such individuals should be stopped before they commit more outrageous crimes because those who are in the habit of taking the law into their own hands to get even with others can do worse if they are given a free rein.  Whatever the Interior Ministry, the Social Affairs Ministry or the Kuwait Human Rights Committee(s) decide to do to curb the increase in violent acts and assaults in our streets and areas, they need to do so as soon as possible. The stakes are high because our society will face tough challenges in the very near future: breaking the law by committing such violence is turning into an epidemic.

As you all know, I have expressed very little in the way of the US election. Of course I have an opinion, but have kept it to myself thus far. However, I have been asked by someone dear to me to make a statement... so here goes!

I'm sure I feel like many Americans as far as choosing the "lesser evil" so to speak. However, the more I learn, the more I think I am actually coming to a decision.

Let me rephrase that... I have already made a decision. My decision is to give my vote to the people closest to me. Because I have been undecided for so long, I believe it's only fair that I trust my loved ones and what they feel will better their lives, and vote for the person they would like to see in office. Which is exactly what I will be doing.

Because of my personal situation, where I live part of the time, the type of work I do, and my obvious interests in Middle East relations, most would think I would vote McCain.

However, because of my obvious democratic views, family status, liberal standpoint on most topics, and carefree opinions about many things... others would think I would vote Obama.

One seems to have much more experience -- personal and professional. While the other seems to be more in touch with reality. I would compare the VP candidates, but that's not even worth discussing. Palin, though I am sure she has her good points, has been a true disappointment to me. And has been the number one driving force behind my decision not to decide. She not only seems fraudulent, but has proven to make highly unethical decisions based on her personal life. Sure, we all do, we just don't hypocritically throw it out there for all the world to see while pointing fingers at others who have done the same. I was a proud "soccer mom" and find that we have little in common with "hockey moms" if she is their representative.

McCain - Obama... both great men. Both have great ideas, and both make valid points. Maybe if they were running together the ticket would be more desirable. However, at this point, Palin presents herself as someone who could represent the "New Generation Barbie Doll" or something along those lines. She stands firm as a professional appearing woman, but has done nothing to support it as a reality.

In summary, it seems I could easily support either McCain or Obama as our next President. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on how you look at it... I have chosen to give my vote to the people closest to me, and vote in favor of the candidate they see as most appealing.

Does that actually clarify anything, other than the fact I have little, if any, respect for Palin?

OK, there's very little updates going on about this story, and it's almost as if it's disappeared. I can't imagine it's just going to be swept under the rug, and I am certain the audio (maybe even the video) will pop up soon. If nothing else, Kuwaitis are very "gadget" oriented, and manage to capture everything in some form of recording.

Below are a few links; one to her MySpace page, the other to her in the studio (before the 'Latina Mina' days I assume - but you get the idea), and the last one -- totally unrelated, I just enjoy the sound of the engines.

Latina Mina MySpace

Latina Mina in Studio

C6 Z06 vs GALLARDO in Kuwait

OK, it's not really a 'song' per se, but more like an inspirational poem presented in the form of a lyrical dispensing of wisdom.

It's old, from like circa 1999, though they play it often here in Kuwait. However, they also show all of the 1999 episodes of 'Friends' on a regular basis. If this song and 'Friends' were all Kuwaitis were taught about Americans, they would think we're the most carefree people alive, or stressed out drama queens. Not sure which.

Anyway, here are the lyrics to the 'song' and though old, definitely worth revisiting... often.

Baz Luhrmann - “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘99


If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience… I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked… You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind… The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life… The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary… What ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own…

Dance… Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old. And when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Woo hoo! The rain has arrived.

Yesterday morning, after babbling on and on about homosexuality here, I decided it was definitely time for Starbucks. I realized it was very overcast outside, which is always appealing, so I was looking forward to the drive. As soon as I drove out of the garage, it hit me... rain! First it was light sprinkles, but the more I drove the harder it seemed to come down.

Of course with all of this excitement (yes, my life is rather boring), I couldn't even think to go back home after getting my coffee. I drove down Arabian Gulf St. (it was 7am so nooo traffic), and felt like it was a whole new Kuwait. Let me explain this -- here in Kuwait we have 2 seasons; Summer and winter. If you take a nap one afternoon you can completely miss winter all together. So things start to feel very much the same around here from one day to the next. Hot, yeah, hot again, uh huh, it sure is hot. When the wind blows and it doesn't feel like a blow dryer on high, or the rain falls, Kuwait feels "new" again.

Unfortunately, with the first few rains, the roads are like slippery ice. The oil has settled all summer (364 days), and the least bit of water can be extremely dangerous. I watched a group of very careful motorcyclists driving down the road yesterday morning, slowly, with helmets, and as one came to the red light to stop, he completely lost control of his bike and went dowwwnnnn. He wasn't speeding, or trying to be crazy. He was just gently stopping at a red light. But the slick roads can cause one to lose control in a second. Don't get all excited, this doesn't cause the locals to slow down for a moment. If anything, it tempts many young boys into being "tricksters" in their cars. Not sure why they feel they're experienced enough drivers to spin, swerve, and outright risk the lives of others just to be foolish in the streets, but they do.

So, just when it's time for me to head out of the country for a while, the rain starts. Oh well, at least I have something to look forward to when I get back!

Winter is coming!!

Below is an article about a few guys who got together and had a plan... Lure a man into an apartment and have forced sex with him! Yes, you read that right - several men decided to rape another man, and did so by luring him into an apartment where he thought only one man would be.

I have a few questions about this that will forever go unanswered of course; but the article says a man went onto the internet, chatted with another man and "pretended" to be gay. Um, when you use any means to seek out the same gender to forcefully have sex with them, that is gay...you're not pretending anymore. OK, let me rephrase that... in my culture, that's gay. Which then leads me to my next question -- why does rape against a woman hold a higher punishment than rape against a man in Kuwait? Perhaps if the judicial system would punish all rape crimes the same, male on male rape wouldn't be such a daily occurrence here. And it's generally not just rape, but more often than not, it's gang rape. Is anyone in this country aware of the psychological damage that can take place when someone is forcefully gang raped by a group of people (same sex or not)?

Many times I have been asked by other Americans if "Kuwaitis are really all gay"? Silly question since it's a blanket statement and "all" rarely applies to anything. However, I don't even think homosexuality is more prevalent in the Middle East than in the states, though I do know same gender sex amongst non-homosexuals is rather common. Let me clarify since I pretty much just defined homosexuality. I don't believe men here actually desire sex with other men. I think they just desire sex... period. However, going to the club, buying someone a drink, and knowing the possibility of taking her home doesn't exist here. Or not as the 'norm' anyway.

1. There are no clubs in Kuwait (legal ones).
2. There is no alcohol in Kuwait (legal).
If you are caught at a 'club' or with alcohol you go to jail, and shame your family (especially a female).
3. Kuwaitis are human too -- with hormones and sexual desires.
4. It's not acceptable to walk up to a woman in Starbucks or the mall and ask for her number - even if she is outside of the home alone and without a male escort.
5. If a man does meet a woman via bluetooth, internet, or driving down the road, rarely does he have a place to take her to in private unless he has an apartment on the side that he secretly rents, or he finds one he can pay KD20 for a few hours (those are illegal).
6. Rarely do children move out of their family home at the age of 18. It's very common to find unmarried people living at home at the age of 30.
7. If a woman is caught with a man in an apartment, out on a 'date', or is known for being 'easy' she risks shaming her family and making it difficult for the other female relatives to find a husband.
7. Having sex with a woman in Kuwait is normally going to come at a price, ie. phone cards, money, cell phones, sunglasses...something.
8. A man can have a 'girlfriend' for 5 years and see her only a handful of times. This is common as well.

So with all those odds against you, it only makes sense that same sex relations would run rampant. Not necessarily homosexuality.


Man dead in kidnap, rape attempt: The Court of Appeals Monday set Nov 12, 2008 to look into the case of four Kuwaitis and two bedoun and allow the defense team to prepare their argument.

The accused are charged with causing the death of a Kuwaiti man when they kidnapped him and tried to rape him.

Case papers indicate on April 20, 2007, five of the six men agreed to kidnap and rape the victim. The fourth suspect chatted with the victim on the Internet and pretended he was gay.
The man invited the victim to his place to have sex. The men took the victim to a flat that was rented by one of the suspects for immoral activities.

When they arrived at the place, another man who was already inside locked the door of the apartment from inside and two other men appeared from another room. When they tried to rape the victim, he jumped from the window of the ninth floor apartment and fell to his death.
On June 18, 2008, the Criminal Court sentenced four men to 15 years in jail and the fifth to seven years and the sixth to three years. The court also ordered the deportation of the bedoun after serving the sentence.

The session was presided over by Judge Faisal Khuraibet.

OK, after yesterday's blatant addressing of personal issues....here we go again?!

First let me start by saying this humidity in Kuwait is just killinggg me! They say it might actually rain here this weekend which is almost unheard of in October. So woo hoo! If humidity is going to bring rain I won't complain too much (I said not 'too much' not 'not at all').

Moving right along...

This morning, as I'm sitting with my favorite breakfast item in Kuwait (you guessed it - Starbucks!), I get an email from my best friend in the states which had me literally laughing for a while (thanks, biotccchh). Before I continue, I would like to preface this with admitting that I am fully aware I am not always the most positive person, and not always do I convey the most positive outlook on Kuwait on my webpage. However, I think I have made it perfectly clear that I love this culture, the people, and the country. I embrace different ethnicities, and cultural backgrounds, and enjoy every moment of having the opportunity to learn something new. Even if the lesson I'm learning might not be so fun at the time.

So the email my friend sends this morning is a copy and paste of something written by another American woman here in Kuwait. She doesn't have a blog, but she does occasionally write things on her personal networking page for all to see. This morning it was all about women who are jealous of her, how the Kuwaiti women shouldn't lighten their hair because they're so jealous of blondes, how Arab women all use white makeup to cover their 'real' skin color, and how they wear decorative hijabs to draw attention to themselves. So I am a little confused here. This American woman is Muslim and proudly displays this (masha'Allah), yet judges everyone around her (also Muslims) and claims they're all jealous because she's a blonde? Since we're pointing fingers this morning, who is really behaving less Islamic? The women with the sparkled hijab, or the one judging them?

Please do not take this as me saying I am completely perfect and have never judged anyone in my life. Of course I have. However, when I reflect and ask myself "what was that all about?" I generally find my judging of others comes from an insecurity within me. I rarely look at a Kuwaiti man and judge him per se (other than to say you're all majnooooon, you silly men!), however, I have more than once looked at a Kuwaiti woman and found myself not feeling as glamorous and possibly mumbling something snide under my breath. Again, this is due to something I am lacking, not her. So if one is constantly, and in every breath, degrading others (men or women), how incredibly insecure must this person really be? What level of self worth do you think they have? Fortunately I am fully aware of the days I am feeling a little 'less than' and consciously avoid negative comments about others. It's not a nice thing to do, it's ugly, and it's just outright shallow. But again, I am not fee of all charges here...I am guilty as well.

Now, back to this person and her judgmental rant -- I will not "bust her out" and discuss the personal details of her life. Yes, I do know her personally, but how, where, and why are not important. Let's just say she's living in la-la land with Kuwaiti fantasies, and warped realities. She claims to 'hate' Kuwaitis, yet then pretends to have married one and tells everyone she's a citizen. Uh, seriously, life is calling! Fact is, her hate is nothing other than a deep jealousy of others, which she projects though her negativity. Though I will say if her reasons for bitterness run parallel to my own, it's very clear as to where all the hatred comes from. Unfortunately this woman is in a position where she is not allowed to leave the country of Kuwait, she has a travel ban against her. She does not necessarily want to leave either, however, has no way of supporting herself here, and relies on handouts from others. If she doesn't get them, she is angry and hateful. As if it's the responsibility of strangers to provide for her. Don't misunderstand me, I believe 100% in giving to people in need, and think it's terrible to turn your back on those who have less than, or struggle from one day to the next. However, there is a great difference between giving to those in need, and being used by those unwilling to make the necessary changes in their life to better their situation. Some prefer to just sit back, complain, point fingers, judge others, and take no responsibility for their situation at all. I draw the line there. It's no longer someone in need, but a con-artist looking for their next victim. I have even heard this person say, many times, "How Islamic is it for people to turn their backs on another Muslim?" when she can't get someone to give money, rides, or other forms of assistance.

My question is -- how Islamic is it to expect and demand of others what you're unwilling to do yourself?

'Nuff said.

Here we go...more stuff about my personal life, but I just have no choice but to address this and vent!

I think it's obvious that contacting me through my website is an anonymous process. And as I have stated before, I chose this option to allow people who contact me the opportunity to be as honest as possible and express themselves freely without having to disclose their identity. Perhaps when I opted for that I did so assuming it would bring interesting topics, and good conversation. Which it has for the most part.

I said all that to say what?

Years ago, and I do mean yearssss (2001? 2002 maybe?) I had a casual encounter with someone of the opposite sex that developed into mutual friendship. Now, let's all pull our minds out of the gutter and recover from 'casual encounter' before I move on. This was not a physically intimate friendship at all. Just a conversation that lead to a completely innocent friendship.

We OK now? Safe for me to move on?

This person and I remained in contact for about a year, maybe a little longer. It just wasn't so overwhelmingly important that I added the dates to my day planner or anything. I would definitely say that by 2003 our communication had pretty much ceased. 'Why' you ask? Well, again, this was a friendship that was certainly not leading anywhere else, however, I eventually found out he was married and had children. Of course I have married friends, so this would have been no big deal except for the fact that he had initially lied. Lying about marital status tells me a couple of things about you men (pay attention here) -- 1. You're hoping to get more out of the friendship than just a friend, but already know you have to be devious to do so. 2. You lack respect for your wife, who is quite possibly the mother of your children, which in turn, screams volumes about your character. At this point I suppose there was a lack of trust and respect. Not to mention, sometimes people's lives just move in different directions and you find yourselves in different places. No harm, no foul.

So you think!

Since the end of this friendship (like 5 or more years ago!) I will still sometimes get an email from this person. Maybe 3-6 times a year. Nice, huh? NOT! These are not emails asking how the kids and family are doing. Or even emails asking how I am doing! These are hate filled diatribes which give even further insight into this person's values, morals, and character. Now that I have blocked all of his emails (though he will sometimes create new email addresses and try again), he has started using my website as a way to contact me since he knows I don't see the email address it's coming from. He has been doing this off and on for months...close to a year I suppose. I generally get through the first sentence, know immediately who it is, and delete. I never mention it on here as it's just not been worth the time, effort, or attention required.

Until now.

Last night I get an email from him, which I actually took the time to read. It was short, though not very sweet. I sat back for a moment wondering when the last time I communicated with him was. When the last time I answered a call from him was (prior to changing my numbers in 2003). Or when the last time was that I reached out to communicate with him. Let me clarify, once the friendship was coming to an end, I would still occasionally email or call to ask how he and his family were doing. Certainly never to spew hatred or negativity. He was friendly and receptive at first until I contacted him less and less, and eventually not at all. Then along came the "I hate you" emails and voice mails. Oh noooooo, buddy boy, not in my life you don't! Take that nonsense home to your wife, because this woman tolerates that disrespect from no one! Especially some married man who clearly has absolutely no clue of the definition of "friendship."

So, after the hated filled emails, the malicious voice mails, the blocking of contact, and the...well, almost having no memory of this person at all until I am suddenly jolted back into reality by some insanity of his...I have to ask "why?" My ego likes to believe it's due to the fact that I'm an irresistible goddess and he just can't bear the thought of not being part of my life. However, once I arrive back on earth I realize this isn't the case (blah!). That being said, I have to assume he is either mentally unstable, which he never appeared to be when I knew him. Or he is a complete control freak who hates the idea of "losing" anything. Even if it was never his to begin with. Ahhh, now we're onto something! I think this defines him perfectly. Don't get me wrong, wanting or desiring a sense of control and power in your life isn't necessarily a bad thing until you use it for yearssssss (which resembles stalking by the way!) to communicate with a person who has absolutely no interest in communicating with you.

Since I do not, and will not reply to your emails, I will address you here in hopes of generating some form of shame or something that will prevent you from making the same mistakes in the future!

M****, you are a very intelligent, well educated, Attorney. You obviously know the law, and therefore know how to walk the line of 'criminal' and 'stupid' with great skill. Your incessant attempts at contacting me are not appreciated, nor warranted. I have not sought you out in any way in years, nor will I. If you ever expected more from me than a friend, you were sadly mistaken. Perhaps my personality is a bit charming, and could even be construed as "flirtatious" by a man who rarely gets attention from the opposite sex. However, my charm and charisma are no excuse for your bitterness. If contacting me is your way of expressing overwhelming pain, then I suggest you seek therapy. If it's your way of maintaining some form of control, you're failing miserably. And if it's your way of just trying to be a nuisance, it's not working. I am virtually apathetic to your existence. The only reason I am giving you this much attention this morning is out of hope it will allow you some closure, and assist you in moving on. (The end!)

Now, men (allll of you men)...stalking a woman to death does not make you desirable in any way. Unless she has grave emotional disorders, then perhaps it's rather appealing. But, in general, women prefer a man who is confident, secure in who he is, and doesn't chase, beg, plead, or force a woman to be with him. If a woman expresses no desire to communicate with you, then let it go. If years later you find yourself still bruised and broken, don't contact her in hopes she's going to fix you. Open up those handy dandy yellow pages, and let you fingers do the walking all over the "Psychiatrist" section. Yes, make a phone call, an appointment, and perhaps make a request for some goooooood meds.

Have I made my point, Mr. T*****?

The below article was in the newspaper today, and though I didn't hear this particular show, I do listen to her often. This is one of the radio stations here in Kuwait plays American music exclusively, however, on Thursday Latina Mina (female DJ) does a few hours of a mix of Latin and American music.

I have to say, the times I have listened to her she does come across as rather boisterous, sometimes obnoxious, and not what one might consider 'lady-like' though she seems to have a large group of listeners, and is probably a rather fun person. Maybe even a little too fun if she's doing her show while live on the air and drunk. This could pose a slight problem here in Kuwait. Not that going to work drunk in any country would be an acceptable level of professionalism, but you get the point.

So, according to the newspaper, Latina Mina has hopped on a plane and fled the country. It also states she's a citizen of Kuwait. So, is she coming back? Will she really face punishment if she does? Or does she have the wasta required to make this all go away?

Hmm, I'm looking forward to finding out what the Thursday line-up will be on 99.7 ("Kuwait's hottest new music") from now on.

Sheikha vows appropriate action at 99.‘bleep’; DJ said to have left Kuwait

KUWAIT CITY, Oct 19: Appropriate action will be taken against the female DJ of FM 99.7, who was said to be allegedly drunk on the show and reportedly abused a caller, says Sheikha Shejoun Al-Sabah, the Head of FM 99.7. According to a reliable source, the DJ identified as Latina Mina, reportedly took a flight out of Kuwait on Saturday evening. When asked to confirm, Sheikha Shejoun said that she was not aware of this and offered no further comment on the issue. The incident has generated tremendous interest among bloggers who had a field day on Thursday evening by extensively blogging on the story. The DJ, who reportedly has a Kuwaiti nationality, found herself at the center of the controversy when a host of listeners claimed that the DJ was drunk while on air Thursday evening on Super Station 99.7. Another DJ told her she was embarrassing the radio station, but the female DJ allegedly cussed and the programme was taken off the air. The report could not be independently confirmed. According to a blogger, the DJ was reportedly drunk and was slurring throughout the show. A listener, who spelt trouble for her, called in at a time when the radio station personnel thought they were off air. The caller is said to have abused the DJ, saying that she was a ‘drunk hoochie’. Reacting to the comments, the miffed DJ allegedly used the four-letter word several times. Assuming that they were off air while heated words were being exchanged, the DJ (Latina Mina) came back on air to sign off, saying “there are a lot of haters out there who need to get an education.”

I've been sitting here this morning pondering an email I got last night from someone asking for information about their current situation. When someone contacts me using the "contact me" box at the bottom of my website, they're not required to give an email address, or even valid information. I prefer to allow everyone a sense of anonymity in hopes of promoting honesty. I get many emails with no contact information at all, and just as many with contact information. I get emails of people calling me horrible names, and others of people asking me to marry them. I suppose it all works in the end. However, this is also part of the reason I haven't opted for allowing comments as of yet. Perhaps one day I'll change my mind. For now, I have little interest in monitoring negativity and hate filled diatribes for more than a few minutes a week.

So, back to this email I got...

It was interesting, though I am sometimes quite cynical. However, I did find the questions interesting enough to share here. I will not share her email, only my reply as to respect her anonymity. Obviously my reply will give away some details about her situation, but certainly not her identity....whomever she is. I am assuming because she didn't provide an email address, responding here is acceptable.

And here it is...
(Oh, and if you're the guy she's 'involved' with, whatcha doing to her, doodles?! Why are you tormenting this poor woman's emotions? Whip out that passport, get on a plane, and make it happen!)
 

OK, it's obviously been quite a long time since I've last posted. What on earth have I been doing? Where have I been?!

Absolutely nothing...and nowhere!

Lately it seems I have been submerging myself in completely mindless activities that require little to no thought at all. Perhaps it's just my brain telling me I need a break from life for a while? No clue. I generally find that I'm either busy analyzing things, or seeking out something to analyze. More recently I have been perfectly content just 'existing'. Something tells me I'll get bored with this very soon and go back to my deep thinking, over analytical way of life before too long.

So, what's on my agenda for today? Well, I haven't quite thought about it. I did manage to get Starbucks this morning, and I'll probably read the newspaper here shortly. That's always entertaining.

Wow, I am truly droll and mundane today, huh? I'll go bother someone, or torment some stranger to get a reaction and come back and write about it. I don't feeeeeel the creative juices flowing today!

Blah!

Oh, yeah, camping starts soon. I am looking forward to that. You can slowly feel winter trying to creep in here, which is awesome! But it starts to feel like camping weather. It's my favorite time of year, and absolutely plan to be back here in time to spend a little quality time in the desert! Woo hoo, go me! I've explained it all before, so stop envisioning some dirty little tent sitting on the ground in the sand. You all know better. When I say "desert camping" I mean concrete foundation, huge tent, carpets, electricity, furniture, big screen TV, and plumbing! Yeah, I know, what's the purpose of going to the desert if we're going to have all that? For the sound of silenceeeeeeee. Shhhh. That's all you hear. Nothing. The sound of nothing at all, the smell of fahem and sheesha, wind and rain on stormy nights, and me....in a tent! Who could ask for more?

Okie dokie, so I have yammered on about absolutely nothing this morning and I think that's about as intellectual as I will be getting today.

Sleeping, 4am, phone rings..."She has a new home now." I knew exactly who it was and what he was talking about. I can't tell you how happy this made me. I start asking all the typical questions, "Who, where, when?"

It seems the mistreated housegirl has been "sold" to the people who were aware of the situation and shared the information with me. They called to tell me she was living in their home as of about 3:30am last night, however, she is having problems hearing due to being hit in the ears so often, so they're going to take her to the Doctor on Sunday to have her ears checked. Also, she has been in Kuwait for months and never allowed to call her family, so they did let her call her family and talk to them for a while this morning.

Their home has no small children, and only adults. Her workload will be less, and she will actually get her salary. They are almost certain she has been paid no salary since arriving here, in turn not being able to send money home to her family. She was basically kept like an animal, not paid, abused horribly, and isolated from everyone she loved. Unfortunately, there will be no case filed, and no action taken against her previous sponsor, but she's away from him, and that's good enough for now.

Oh how I wish I could take her to America with me!

Sleeping, 4am, phone rings..."She has a new home now." I knew exactly who it was and what he was talking about. I can't tell you how happy this made me. I start asking all the typical questions, "Who, where, when?"

It seems the mistreated housegirl has been "sold" to the people who were aware of the situation and shared the information with me. They called to tell me she was living in their home as of about 3:30am last night, however, she is having problems hearing due to being hit in the ears so often, so they're going to take her to the Doctor on Sunday to have her ears checked. Also, she has been in Kuwait for months and never allowed to call her family, so they did let her call her family and talk to them for a while this morning.

Their home has no small children, and only adults. Her workload will be less, and she will actually get her salary. They are almost certain she has been paid no salary since arriving here, in turn not being able to send money home to her family. She was basically kept like an animal, not paid, abused horribly, and isolated from everyone she loved. Unfortunately, there will be no case filed, and no action taken against her previous sponsor, but she's away from him, and that's good enough for now.

Oh how I wish I could take her to America with me!

A few nights ago I get a phone call from someone several thousand miles away and it was a bit of a surprise, as I haven't heard from them in a few weeks.

During this conversation they mention something I had done that apparently bothered them a little, and affected how they felt, yet they never mentioned it to me weeks ago when this happened. Please note, the thing I did was in my personal life, had absolutely nothing to do with them, and in no way was directed at them. As a matter of fact, it wasn't a "bad" thing at all, they just took it as such due to lack of communication. I explained to them that if they had called and asked I would have gladly explained the meaning behind the incident at hand. I felt horrible for having upset them and apologized. This was acceptable and we moved on.

The point to all of this is communication. It's very simple for us women. We just loveeee to talk. It's men who have little interest in listening, and even less interest in verbalizing something not directly related to them. Sports, television, work, etc.

So, as my friend sits in the states stewing over something I had never even considered, I sit here in Kuwait having absolutely no clue there was an issue.

Furthermore, this person goes on to tell me that once he became upset by my actions, he then took actions of their own. Doing things that could possibly hurt me in some way. Not directly, but indirectly. This isn't a cruel person we're talking about here. So I ask why he didn't just pick up the phone on day 1 and resolve all of this confusion then. What is the purpose of "getting even"? If this person had any clue how much they meant to me to begin with, they would have never assumed my actions were derogatory, or aimed at them. They would have known that my intentions were purely innocent, and they were just overreacting.

Finally, I'm glad he made the phone call. Friends are important to me, and hurting anyone is never my intention. However, I wish he had done it before acting like a child and retaliating with silly actions.

Men, men, men....grow up! What's wrong with you creatures?

Good thing Personal Injury Attorney's don't run rampant over here like they do in the states...

Toy guns injure 90 kids

Kuwait: Ninety boys have been reportedly treated for injuries to the eyes during the Eid Al-Fitr holidays, reports Annahar daily. The daily quoting security sources said all victims were injured when their friends shot them in the eye with pellets fired from toy guns. The same source said 17 boys who were seriously injured have been admitted to the Al-Bahr Ophthalmic Centre. The parents have appealed to the concerned authorities to ban the sale of toy guns. Ban the sale of the toy guns? Um, how about just not buying them? They act like their children go to the store and purchase these things on their own. These toy guns were obviously Eid gifts since suddenly and during the same 3 day holiday 90 children were injured with them. Perhaps use better judgement and refrain from buying these things then a ban wouldn't be necessary. I mean, just beause alcohol is for sale in America doesn't mean everyone purchases it and is an alcoholic. Better yet, monitor your children if you choose to give them a toy that is potentially dangerous. No, that doesn't mean yelling out the door to "be careful." I mean actually spend time with them, teach them about safety, and encourage them (as a parent) to use caution.

Because of the nature of this post, and the relationship I have with the person with knowledge, this will be very vague. I have no doubt many of you (from Kuwait) will understand what I am discussing. But more than anything, I am begging for guidance and direction from ANY of you with knowledge that I lack.

In the past week it has come to my attention that a housegirl is being severely mistreated. The nature and severity of the maltreatment has yet to be discussed with me, but only because the person who has mentioned it knows how sensitive I am to these types of things. I am absolutely distraught over this and find that I have trouble sleeping because I am constantly thinking of this poor woman and the terror she must be living in. I have contemplated waiting outside of a home in which I know her sponsor visits and takes her to often, getting her attention as she's entering or exiting, and then whisking her away. To where? I have no clue! At that point I would be guilty of "stealing" someone else's housegirl, and could perhaps be charged with a crime. I really don't know. I have considered calling the police, but sending them where? I don't know where this family lives, nor do I think the housegirl would talk if the police did arrive, out of fear she would be left behind for further "punishment."

I can't express my level of feeling helpless. I have no idea where to turn, or who to ask for help. I have no desire to betray the people who have mentioned this to me (though they are not involved in any way). Yet I can't go another day with the knowledge someone is being abused and no one is stepping in to help. I have asked people who do know the family involved why they don't "buy" her and take her out of that environment, and the response is simply, "It's not our business." Huh? A human being is being abused...isn't that all of our business?!

If any of you can provide me information on who I can contact to investigate this...and I can remain anonymous (for obvious reasons), please contact me immediately. Keep in mind, I don't have her name, the name of her sponsor, or the address in which she resides. So calling her embassy would be moot. Unfortunately my knowledge is limited to stories I have heard from people who are familiar with the family. I refrain from asking them for names and additional details -- I simply beg them to step in. So far no one has.

UPDATE (Oct-7)

This morning, bright and early (much earlier than most Kuwaitis are awake), I received a phone call from a good friend of mine who apparently heard about my concerns through a mutual friend. Not sure either of them know my blog exist, which is good since I sometimes type about them and use them as examples. So, my phone rings, I'm driving to my office, sipping McDonald's Mochacino (don't bother), I answer the phone and hear, "Hey, why you didn't tell me?" No sebah elkhair, schlonich, nothing! Not realizing who was on my phone I gave the typical, "Um, who are you? How did you get this number? And don't call me again!" response. In the middle of my ranting spiel he interrupted me and asked if I were still sleeping or just being crazy this morning. I then realized who I was talking to and we moved on with our conversation. He explained how he had heard of my concerns (thankfully not through my blog), and wanted to see what he could do to keep me from crying even more than he knew I already had. Yes, a woman's tears and Middle Eastern men are never a good combination...if you're the man. They seem to work really well for us women.

Long story short, he assured me he's going to make a few phone calls today (during the 45 minutes people who can make a difference might actually show up for work), and he's going to see what he can do about getting a family member to "buy" this woman from her current sponsor, and see if this sponsor had ever been reported for similar incident before. No idea if any action will be taken against this person, nor do I know if that would even make a difference. My concern is not necessarily punishing him as much as it is getting this woman out of that house. I wish there were a way to prevent him from ever having another housegirl, but that's not even feasible. And since it's not -- what about some education? For everyone involved!

OK, here I go on a completely different topic not directly related to my post in any way, but is something that needs to be addressed.

Training...

For workers in the home and sponsors. Yes, it's utterly pathetic to think one would need to be "trained" to be kind to people working in their homes, however, here in Kuwait, it should be mandatory. Kindness doesn't come like free flowing water in this country unless there is something to be gained.

Also, domestic workers should be allowed 1 day off a week...really off! A day where they can leave the home, without the kids, go to the mall, maybe lunch with another housegirl, or just a walk around the block without a stroller and toddler. The majority of these women work sun up to sundown caring for children, the needs of the home, the adults in the house, laundry, cooking, homework, baths, etc. They are not robots, they are humans.

Now, imagine if you're constantly telling this person how horrible she is, what a terrible job she does, and then beating her for every single little thing you assume she has done wrong. Do you think she's going to do better and try harder? Not a chance. She's going to get angry. How long do you expect she can hold this anger in? And when she finally lets it out, where do you think she's going to direct it? That's right...onto your precious children who she spends more hours in the day with than you do in a month. It wasn't too long ago I read about a housegirl poisoning the baby of her sponsor. Something tells me it wasn't because she hated the baby.

Cruelty leads to pain, pain turns to anger, anger becomes abuse and the cycle starts all over.

Kindness... give it away... it's free!

I'll post an additional update once the housegirl who prompted this posting is moved out of that home. Insha'Allah this happens soon.

Ramadan that is.

As I was reading the local newspaper today it was evident things were "back to normal" here in Kuwait since Ramadan has ended. It seems prior to all the bootleggers being arrested, many people purchased their share of alcohol, got drunk, took out their frustrations on their wives, and then went out to flirt with and harass other women. Classy!

Perhaps the whole Ramadan message gets lost during EID. No clue, really.

Gang fights over teasing girls dog Eid days

KUWAIT CITY : Several cases of public fistfights, through which some youths sustained injuries, reportedly occurred at various public parks during the Eid Al-Fitr festivities. A security source reported that four of those cases were recorded in Jahra on the first day of Eid. The fights erupted based on the fact that some youths accused other parties for purportedly harassing their sisters and they resolved to protect their siblings. The situation in Farwaniya region was much tensed whereby 15 cases were recorded for similar reasons. Some of the incidents took place at the ‘Avenues’ shopping mall and about seven people suffered injuries. The case was reported at the nearby police station. The situation was not different in Ahmadi and Capital governorates where a series of public brawls occurred among youth for similar reasons. Security personnel rushed to the scene and arrested some of the trouble-makers. Mubarak Al-Kabeer region stood out as the only place where people enjoyed relative peace during the festivities, except few minor disagreements that occurred among some expatriates. Wife survives as drunk husband sets her alight in family dispute KUWAIT CITY : A 60-year old Kuwaiti citizen Saturday, under the influence of alcohol, allegedly set his wife on fire at Sabah Al-Salem area, but the wife managed to extinguish the blaze before it got out of hand. The woman, an employee of the Directorate General for Citizenship and Passports, reported the incident to the police. Security operatives arrested the alleged culprit and discovered that he was drunk.  A case has been registered, while the suspect was charged for murder and alcohol consumption. Drunkard creates nuisance: Police have arrested a Kuwaiti man for consuming alcohol and spreading panic in Adan Hospital, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. The well-built drunkard, who was visiting his brother in the hospital, caused nuisance and insulted policemen who rushed to the place, say sources. It was found that the drunkard is wanted by law for insulting an employee on duty. Police hunt gang rapists: Police are looking for four young men who allegedly kidnapped and raped an Ethiopian girl, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. Police received information about a girl in a semi-naked state in Kabad and rushed to rescue her. The girl said four youths dumped her in the middle of the road after having forced sex with her successively. Why are you pregnant?: A woman filed a complaint accusing her Bedoun husband of assaulting her for being pregnant. She said she suffered miscarriage due to the assault, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. The husband allegedly lost composure when he heard his wife was pregnant and assaulted her. Drug overdose kills Kuwaiti: A 30-year-old Kuwaiti man died of an overdose of drugs inside his house in Firdous, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. Police found drug consumption tools beside the victim’s remains. Chinese bootlegger held: Securi-tymen raided an apartment in Jahra and arrested a 48-year-old Chinese man for trafficking in local alcohol and narcotics, reports Al-Watan Arabic daily. Securitymen had earlier arrested two drunk Chinese men and they guided police to their supplier. Police seized 47 bottles of local alcohol and two packets of narcotics from the supplier. The contraband and the trafficker were referred to authorities. 48 bottles seized from bootleggers KUWAIT CITY: Securitymen arrested two Asian bootleggers and recovered 48 bottles of local brew from their ‘factory’ in Al-Qasr area. A security source said Director of Jahra Security Directorate Brigadier Ayth Al-Otaibi received tip off that two Asians had converted their house into a liquor factory and asked securitymen to keep an eye on the house. Securitymen later raided the house after obtaining permission from the Public Prosecution and arrested the suspects. The accused and the contraband were referred to the Anti-Drugs Department.

Gays caught in the act in Salmiya mall

Kuwait : Securitymen have arrested two homosexuals, who were engaged in immoral acts inside a commercial complex in Salmiya. According to sources, a team of securitymen on routine duty in the area arrested the suspects after noticing their ‘unusual’ behavior in the complex. A case was registered and the homosexuals were referred to the authorities for the necessary legal action.

Now, keep in mind this is from the same newspaper who just loveessss to give limited information and leave us wondering what the "real deal" was. Let me clarify something here for those of you making assumptions...like me. "Immoral acts" could simply be men dressing like women in public. And "unusual behavior" could be smiling at, or flirting with men who might have mistaken these two for women.

That being said, a couple of days ago we're driving down the road, maybe 5pm'ish, on Arabian Gulf Street (the same place this "Salmiya Mall" is located). I tell the person in the car with me to look at the two "women" in the Mercedes next to us when we stop at the light. I was shocked by the revealing clothes, wild hair, loud music, and so obviously checking out the guy in another Mercedes next to them. This alone was "unusual behavior" for a woman in Kuwait, so I was a little surprised to see this blatant behavior in daylight hours on a main road with so much traffic. As we stopped next to them, the driver with bright bottle blonde hair turned slightly to look at the passenger. When "she" did, I realized it was so obviously a man! I see this fairly often in Kuwait, but normally they try to hide it a little better than this dude -- perhaps with hijab, more makeup, etc. These two appeared as though they had just thrown the dishdasha in the floor and put on their sister's clothing, without any consideration for makeup or disguising the obvious adam's apples. I found myself so fascinated by these two, but even more fascinated by the man in the Mercedes next to them who continued to follow them. Seriously, a taxi pulled up in front of us (and next to the "women") full of teen boys and they even realized it was men in the car. You could tell by their faces, the looks of awe, and the laughter that ensued. However, the adult male who continued to follow them didn't seem to notice....or at least didn't seem to care.

I have been asked, more than once, if homosexuality is really as prevalent in Kuwait as the rumors portray it to be. My answer is always the same; Men and women are separated in many social activities, therefore men do spend more time with men, and women with women. This does not mean they are attracted to the same sex, just that it's who they're more socially in tune with. However, one has to wonder, if you are kept from the opposite sex as the "norm" and you are a teenager with raging hormones that you can't control, does the homosexual act come into play? And if so, does this really constitute being "gay"? Or is it just the act of calming the uncontrollable hormones?

Several months ago I believe I posted something from the newspaper about how Kuwait had decided no more women would teach boys in schools...even elementary schools as they felt it was encouraging them to become homosexuals. A few months after that I posted about the women at the beach being stared at and harassed by the lesbians. Is this beacause men are teaching them? Of course not, and the entire idea of an opposite gender providing an education being the cause of homosexuality is just preposterous. If this were the case, I suppose the entire population of Americans would cease, as we would all be gay!

A couple of years ago a male Kuwaiti friend was shocked to find out my then teenage sons attended High School with female students. He then thought for a moment, looked at me, and said, "Hmmm, you know, if we had girls in my school I don't think I would have ever gone home at the end of the day."

In America, from birth, males and females interact in all aspects of life. We attend school together, we are taught by opposite genders, many of us (male and female) have a "crush" on one of our teachers, and as long as she's not Mrs. Letourneau we have few concerns. We continue on and attend college together, go to parties together, and even work together. We have friends of the opposite gender who really are just friends. Men respect women, and women respect men. Not because of gender, but because of who we are as a person.

So, now that we've established all of that, what is homosexuality? And how can some say that a sexual act (or clothing choice) is what defines it?