I am really not doing too well about posting very often lately. I feel as though I've been so busy, but when I sit down to write I feel as though nothing has been going on at all. Perhaps I'm lost in a fog and it will all come back to me someday. Eh, hope I'm having a great time!

So, I'm heading home on vacation in a couple of months. A much needed vacation I might add. I haven't been back to the states since last November, and for me, that's quite a long time. I know when everyone around me seems extra rude, and I start conforming to their behavior, it's definitely time to head back to the states where people wave, just to be waving. Smile just to be smiling. And glancing in the direction of a man doesn't translate to "Oooh, follow me home and stalk me!"

I've also decided to put an effort into getting out and doing more in Kuwait. This is where I struggle. My idea of fun in Kuwait is either going to the desert, a day at the spa, shopping, or hanging out with very close friends. I'm not a very good "tourist" regardless of what country I visit. However, someone I now consider a friend has suggested I do a couple of things which are very conveniently located near my home. He has convinced me, so maybe I'll invest a little time in it this weekend.

Furthermore -- I am struggling with my age. I have no idea why it's suddenly such an issue for me. Maybe because I only recently realized my children view my parents from the same eyes I once viewed their parents. And they were old. Oh, and my children aren't so little either. I can't remember how long it's been since either of them have had to look up at me. That being said, I am on this "health kick." This can't be a bad thing, right? I am strictly counting calories, avoiding most processed products, and trying to make overall smarter choices. I invest in microdermabrasion in hopes of fighting off the wrinkles before they get here. Have a cabinet full of anti-aging products, and use only strengthening shampoo and conditioner. No, I am certainly not losing my hair! I just feel like thicker healthier looking hair is younger looking hair. What does it take to accept the aging process? My mother is gorgeous, has grown old gracefully, and doesn't seem to have a bit of trouble with this. Sometimes I think she relishes in it.

If you're sitting over there thinking, "Hmm, she's nuts" please just get out the pen and notepad, pretend to be writing, look at the screen with a deeply interested expression, and allow me to pretend it's therapy! I mean, this really isssss my therapy!

That's about all I have going on lately. Other than the fact I haven't seen my building hariss. Last time I did, he mentioned how he hates Kuwait, hates Kuwaitis, etc. This was really unlike him so I asked what happened. We were in the elevator so the conversation was short and we have a communication barrier. But from what I gather he had an issue with a Kuwaiti man the day before, and the man was yelling at him. No idea if that man is my building owner, but my hariss has mysteriously disappeared. Though, oddly enough, my maid has been showing up on time, on her days scheduled, no issues at all. Perhaps she's hidden the hariss?

The weather here is slowly changing. We had a couple of really warm days which I even considered to be hot. Now, the past day or so, it seems the weather is cooling down some, and even cold this morning. However, they've turned on the air conditioning in my office, so it's super cold in here. We get temperature adjustments twice a year -- heat all the way on, or air all the way on. Seems manipulating the dial on a thermostat is waaaay too much work for someone.

Oh well, I'll just take my freezing fingers and go!

By the way -- men; Bvlgari Black is a must. Unless you wanna smell all 3arabi and whatnot. Then it must be Agarwood.

Oh no they didn't!!

But yes, they sure did.

I'm on my way to my office today, driving down 30 at the wee hours of the mornin' before any sane people are awake (other than me of course) and remind myself to check this particular camera that I remembered had been "turned around" yesterday.

Side-note: Over here speeding tickets are issued via cameras taking pictures of speeding vehicles. I'm not sure if this is a way of preventing favoritism, since rarely would a Kuwaiti or person of importance be pulled over for speeding. Or, if this is just an effective way of catching speeders while saving the cost of numerous traffic cops. Basically you fly down the road, see a bright light flash, wonder what the heck just happened, and then realize you got "flashed." Approximately 6 months later you get slapped with a fine ranging from 30KD to much higher amounts.

Back to the drive to work...

The day before, I noticed one camera in particular had been turned in the opposite direction in order to catch people speeding going in the other direction. I was on my way home at the time so knew I had to be cautious on my way in this morning.

As I approach the camera I slow down (not that I was speeding!), but could see the camera appeared to be turned in the opposite direction yet again! I wondered if someone was toying with this camera in the middle of the night. I accelerated (slightly), and happen to catch a glimpse of the other side of the camera, realizing it had a lens on both sides!

I was shocked, appalled, and momentarily devastated. I knew this new way of trickery couldn't have been going on more than a day since I am rather observant when it comes to the cameras. Eventually you learn the location and direction of every single camera in Kuwait. Just when you have it all figured out they turn them around. Now they're playing a whole new game!

Double sided cameras? Why? Are they aware of the torment and confusion they're causing me? I struggled with my poor memory for 10 minutes this morning trying to recall if I saw a "flash" yesterday. This puts real pressure on me. I had it all figured out, I knew them all, I could get anywhere in Kuwait knowing I was going to be free of tickets and fines. Now I have to wonder when I'll be deported!

On the particular route I travel most frequently, there are 4 cameras. One on Gulf Road which isn't in the middle of the street, so I am comfortable it can't be relocated. The other three are all on Hwy 30. Two facing one way, the other facing the opposite. This means on the way to the office I have to remember one, and on the way home -- two. Easy enough for a woman who can barely remember her own name from time to time. But nooooo, couldn't keep it easy for us simple people, could ya? Now I have three in either direction to concern myself with. Three!! Between changing the radio station, drinking coffee, and reapplying lipstick, I have to learn rules to an entirely new game.

I suppose if this is what I call a 'bad day' it's not so bad after all.

But it's not fairrrrrrr! This is where I stomp my feet, pout like a child -- and things magically get done!

So, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Been a little busy with work things, dwelling on the economy in the states, and generally just missing home. The American home. Kuwait is also my home, but America is where my roots are.

I decided I would just pop on here today, check some emails, see if there was anything note worthy, etc. And guess what I found in my inbox? No really -- guesssss!

Yep, you got it! A request for mobile numbers to Kuwaiti hookers. Why didn't I ever think of that?! I could have just posted them here all along and saved all you men so much time! Because I have numerous numbers for hookers, right?!?!

Dudes, seriously, I am female. And not the kind who has a for sale sign strapped across her rear end on a Friday night either. And if I weren't female, I think I would have enough confidence, esteem, and even time to find a woman on my own accord! Or I hope I would anyway. I get it, why bother with the dinner dates, the chase, the playing of cat and mouse so to speak, when you can just purchase one for a few hours (or minutes in many cases)? Fair enough. However, I have to say, though I have never been in the market for hookers (here in Kuwait or anywhere else for that matter), I would still venture to say you might wanna try flying off to Dubai or Bahrain where this type of behavior borders on acceptable. Sure you can find them here in Kuwait, but I suggest you get the image of the gorgeous Arab belly dancer out of your mind, and start leaning more towards Asian, petite, and resembling the figure of a 10 year old little boy. No, I don't have their numbers either!

Good luck with this manly behavior you men partake in. I certainly hope I never run into any of you and find myself in an intimate relationship. The thought of someone sharing themselves with someone who has shared themselves with any man who has a few dinar is rather repulsive to me. 

No offense! 

Today is yet another sandstorm. No clue why some say "Wow, it's foggy outside today" when in fact there's no fog in sight. Actually, fog would be a relief compared to this! Sand - Fog -- not the same thing at all!

This is a fairly common assumptions many Americans have about Middle Eastern cultures, especially Kuwait.

Well, I have to say they're not completely wrong about this. No, I don't mean in a homosexual way, though Kuwait has its share of that as well. What I do mean, is it's very common for bedwin men (especially) to spend their every night in dewaniya with a bunch of other men leaving their wife to sit at home. I've asked my friends why they do this, explaining that perhaps the wife might like to spend some time with her husband. Their reply? "No, you don't understand, this is our culture, she is very happy with this life." I agree, this is their culture and this is very common practice. However, that doesn't translate into "happy" in any language.

So, by saying men are for pleasure and women are for babies would border on being accurate in that sense. Women generally sit at home, spend time with the family, and have children. Again, this is more the definition of bedwin families, but many hather (city people) live the same way.

My question in all this is -- if a woman is absolutely miserable sitting home alone all the time, wondering and waiting for her husband to come home she's probably not going to mention this to her husband as not to "bother" him. Or perhaps she's much happier when he's not home. Either way, it's just not a way of life I could ever tolerate. Though I am a woman I have a voice, I have opinions, thought, and ideas. I expect to not only voice these, but to be heard -- especially by the husband.

Presumably, till the end of time, the men from this culture will continue living "Women are for babies; Men are for pleasure" reality. And unfortunately, the women will continue to live with it.

Without going into a great deal of detail, I have recently been totally frustrated by someone. My life is far from perfect, we all have our own issues, yet, as adults, we all meander our way through them one way or another. Sure we lean on one another in times of desperation, however, we certainly don't slap that person in the face for not being willing to jump through hoops of fire for you when you have failed to do the same for yourself. That's like an alcoholic who wants to quit drinking, but being pissed off that bars are still selling alcohol. Insanity.

When a person has been given every opportunity to better themselves, and purposely failed each time due to an unwillingness to try -- how on earth can they expect others to have faith in them? When one looks around and their entire life is in shambles from top to bottom, how dare they have the audacity to point fingers at others. Seriously, our life is ours, blaming others for our failures is so 2 year old'ish.

Oh, and what about when you do go above and beyond for that person and it's not good enough, and all they do is complain about the efforts you made for them? Is this not the most disrespectful thing you have ever encountered?

This leads me to one of two things -- either this is a highly immature person who has the unfortunate "entitlement syndrome" (I compare this to 3rd generation welfare recipients). Or this person is truly suffering with a mental illness.

Who knows?

One day this person pretends to be hanging out with people whose names I don't dare mention. And the next this person is angry and hostile towards the world because of their suffering. Which is it? Are you living like royalty or the jester who makes him laugh? Perhaps I should be crowned, because I find it rather amusing when I overcome the complete disgust that another human being could behave this way.

So, what if this person truly does suffer with bi-polar or MPD? Do I ignore all the knives in my back and reach out yet again in hopes of encountering the friendly personality today? Or do I just accept this is the best this person has to offer and they're not worthy of being a friend?

Furthermore, why is it others are supposed to feel guilty for actually reaching goals and maintaining them? And how can some feel it's acceptable to sit back, do nothing, put forth no effort, spew lie after lie, and wait for the rewards?

Insane much?